Hi dear hive,
I've come here for some advice as I cannot talk about this to anyone, not even to my best friend. I also promised my daughter to keep it a secret, but it continues playing on my mind. I have raised my kids alone, son is a bit older, she is now 14 and half. They are really good kids and I always thought that they could trust me and come to me for advice. My son surely does and would tell me about his emotions, or concerns about his physical appearance etc. My daughter, on the other hand, is quite a moody teenager and can be quite proud and inaccessible at times. I tried to be as supportive as possible, guide her through the physical changes in puberty and support through menses and everything.
Just 2 days ago, I went to her (ensuite) bathroom as I was going to wash the towels, and I almost fainted. She had a sex toy on the toilet - one of those rubber dildos. Apparently it was shown to her when she was browsing SHEIN website (so she says) and she thought it was a good idea to buy it. She said that some of her friends already have boyfriends and are having sex, and that she heard that it hurts when one does it for the first time, so wanted to avoid embarrassment. It crushed me... I was raised a Catholic and believed in virtues of not having sex until one is ready. I am definitely not a very conservative person, but 14 seems too young for me. Also, the shocking fact that she just bought a sex toy as a solution, is baffling. I don't know what to do, where I made a mistake and how to go about the topic of starting sexual life. For now I just reassured her that she is too young and we agreed to pack it away.
Overall, I'm feeling quite deflated about the situation.