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Original poster

How is a baby impacted by parents fighting

28 replies

Jelllytot · 15/10/2023 21:33

Recently DH and I have been arguing a lot in front of our 6 month old daughter. We're really struggling with communicating with each other but this thread is not to ask for relationship advice. Rather, I'm worried how it is impacting our baby. She seems generally happy. But are we doing lasting damage? I am so scared that it's affecting her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jelllytot · 16/10/2023 19:30

SpadeAndBucket · 16/10/2023 18:38

Can you work on talking things through (/arguing if it absolutely has to happen) when your baby is asleep? So just say 'we need to talk about this later?'? You might find that if you have a chance to cool off before discussing problems it might help anyway. It really has to stop though, and you know it which is why you're posting! Very best of luck with it. My friend who is lovely argues with her husband in front of their 2.5year old and always has done and he is the most anxious, clingy child I've ever met in spite of being adored by both parents.

Thanks all for your replies. DH and I have read these and we're both desperate to try and improve. I really really hope we can.

Just reading this about how both parents adore their baby yet he's clingy makes me feel so nervous. I hope at 6 months we haven't managed to do anything lasting. I think the very tragic statistic is that we have probably in that time argues about 12 times in front of her.

OP posts:
namechange55465 · 16/10/2023 19:32

bakewellbride · 15/10/2023 23:23

I strongly disagree with the other posters - we argued a lot when dd was a baby and she's the happiest 18m old ever now (we've obviously fixed our relationship and get on great now). Of course try to resolve your issues but please don't worry needlessly about the impact on your little one as they will not remember and are too young to be affected. Everything will be ok op Flowers

How can you possibly say she's not affected when she's only 18 months old. Ridiculous.

Flyhigher · 16/10/2023 20:01

Your mental health isn't the big factor. Although it's better if she doesn't see you crying a lot ie every day.
My husband was the exact same. And is now. He is stressed basically. He needs exercise and also probably needs you as his rock too. It's very hard.
We also escalate like that.
My DH is very process. He needs things just logical practical steps. If his process is missed then it gets ugly fast. Your parents were like that and passed it on to you. If you can somehow break this cycle. Then amazing. Great that he's willing to go to counselling. Do you have good friends with a baby the same age. Ideally the same sex. That helps a lot.

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