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Original poster

My daughters dad

11 replies

Summerberry22 · 15/10/2023 08:53

My eldest daughter who is 3 years old she has got a dad that just hasn’t bothered with her , hasn’t sent no money hasn’t been asking how she is , my daughter just doesn’t know him . Until April 2023 his girlfriend
messaged saying it will be good if we all met up I don’t know who she is to be honest , but then I basically said ok then they said they’ll
message me a day next week to find out what day they’ll have off work and let me know … it’s now October .
Her dad has now messaged saying “ It’s (…) I wanna see my daughter can we make some arrangements”

Can I just stop him from seeing her ? He just doesn’t bother only when it suits him I don’t get it , don’t know what to do from him just speaking like that I just feel shaky within myself as I still have trauma as I was a victim of domestic violence with him years ago very badly . I would like my daughter to have more family there but my ex and his family can be very nasty people to be honest and really fake .

OP posts:
MistyMooPup · 15/10/2023 08:59

Hi @Summerberry22 don’t respond. Is he named on the birth certificate? I personally would block him. I doubt very much he’d try to get in touch again. I don’t think you want your daughter involved with someone who was violent to you.

Original poster
Summerberry22 · 15/10/2023 12:41

MistyMooPup · 15/10/2023 08:59

Hi @Summerberry22 don’t respond. Is he named on the birth certificate? I personally would block him. I doubt very much he’d try to get in touch again. I don’t think you want your daughter involved with someone who was violent to you.

This is what I want to do , he’s told me before “I’ve got a son of my own now and nobody has a problem with me being around him so what’s your problem “ and unfortunately he is on the birth cert 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Summerberry22 · 15/10/2023 12:42

He was violent towards me before my daughter was conceived but still

OP posts:

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Stressfordays · 15/10/2023 12:48

Hes only interested because of the new girlfriend. Id just block him personally. He can take you court.

Original poster
Summerberry22 · 15/10/2023 12:49

Stressfordays · 15/10/2023 12:48

Hes only interested because of the new girlfriend. Id just block him personally. He can take you court.

Hey what do you mean because of the new girlfriend

OP posts:
YorkshireIndie · 15/10/2023 12:49

Can you go through a contact centre and start building up contact? It is going to be hard for your DD to just start seeing her dad after such a long time. Might be worth asking for a contact plan to be put in place.

Was the abuse reported?

Shewhobecamethesun · 15/10/2023 12:53

I think no dad and a secure, stable home with just mum is far better for a child then a dad that picks them up then drops them like a yo-yo.
I'd simply reply, "contact is fine but I think we need to arrange this via solicitors so please just get yours to contact me and we can take it from there". Then block him
He won't be willing to pay a solicitor fee just to show off to his new girlfriend

Original poster
Summerberry22 · 15/10/2023 13:00

YorkshireIndie · 15/10/2023 12:49

Can you go through a contact centre and start building up contact? It is going to be hard for your DD to just start seeing her dad after such a long time. Might be worth asking for a contact plan to be put in place.

Was the abuse reported?

Hi so social services know all about this as I had to go through a mother and baby unit to fight for my daughter when she was born for a few months to prove I can and will protect her basically so they know all about it . I have told him too go to a contact centre but he’s said to me “why should I have to do that like I’m some junkie I’ve got a 1 yr old baby now and I’m allowed to keep and look after him “

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 15/10/2023 13:26

Its tale as old as time. They play the victim to the new girlfriend 'she doesn't let me see them wah wah wah', the new girlfriend (obviously the next victim and wants to fix everything) then starts getting involved and wants to start contact. You automatically say 'no' because they've not bothered with them up until now, then they can 'prove' you're the problem to the new girlfriend.

frenchfries111 · 15/10/2023 13:59

I’d be sending him a claim for child support before anything else. If he can pay for a new baby he can pay for your child.
Id suggest a contact centre (he can pay for) and if he wants to go further he can go to court.

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 15/10/2023 14:11

I would be asking social services their advice, if you had to fight to prove that you'd keep her safe because of him then you need their advice. Don't risk loosing her because you allowed access, ask what they would advise re is any contact allowed.

secondly I'd ignore the message and change your phone number.

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