Help - very clingy toddler

[Ivfgottahope]

I’m just looking for some advice and to ascertain whether or not this is “normal” but our 22mo DD has been super clingy since we long as she could walk (18 mos).

She goes to nursery a few days a week and loves it - I don’t even get so much as a backward glance and she comes home singing in the car! But round the house and if we ever go out for walks she wants to be carried all the time and if we refuse or results in a full on melt down.

In the house I can just about manage but find I rush constantly on edge before she trips off - like when I’m making her meals. But going out has become really limiting and she just doesn’t seem to want to see the outdoors and explore and carrying her now is impractical. Even a carrier so she’s on my back or a pram doesnt pacify the want to be carried. At children’s birthday parties she never wants to join in but just be on my knee.

my main questions are is this normal toddler behaviour and do I persist with carrying her (I don’t want her to feel abandoned so I tend to go along with it) or start standing firm a little more? I don’t know whether she was a later walker she’s still not confident yet.

Sounds like you need to be firmer, the more your carrying her around the more she will expect it and therefore when you say no she will have a tantrum.

I have found at this age (21mo here) there are certain things that she wants to do that just don't work. When I say no, there is crying. But she gets used to it. Next time, she'll ask and there is crying but it's shorter. Usually by the third or fourth time trying she's forgotten the thing she so desperately wanted. It'll be tough to cope with the crying but please do try. It's not good for kids these age to not be exploring!

I wouldn't carry her round at home or out and about.

When she's asking to be picked up, come down to her level/sit on the floor with her. Let her sit on your lap/give lots of cuddles/play at her level, but don't pick her up. Do this consistently.

If coming down to her level isn't possible, for example if you're cooking, bring her up to your level by putting her in her highchair. Move her close to you, so you can make eye contact and she can join in with what you're doing.

When out give her the option of holding your hand and walking together or being in the buggy (have her parent facing, not facing away from you).