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Don't talk to In-Laws for children's sake

6 replies

karrliz · 13/10/2023 12:04

There are so many reasons why we don't speak to my DHs parents. They are controlling, toxic, emotionally abusive, manipulative people and just out for themselves.

I have been part of their life for 8 years and they have treated me and other in-laws (who has now broken up with SIL so no longer part of the family) terribly! I had some bitchy girls at school, but this is the worst case of bullying I've ever encountered.

They are cruel to me and my DH, they put us down, call us names- they are just toxic... it's the only way to put it and made our lives miserable.

After countless times we have just turned the other cheek, we decided enough was enough after they said some awful and unforgivable things to my DH. We haven't spoken to them in about 2 months.

We have a DD, 15 months old, who they have shown little interest in, as they don't like that they can't have her to themselves (again very controlling). However, today my MIL left a bag of T-shirt and leggings at the door.

I feel so annoyed by this. As if she can buy her way back in, as if that shows care? After everything that's happened and the lack of care, it just feels like she's doing it to make herself feel like grandmother of the year and so she can parade about saying how harsh we are for not saying thank you etc.

I feel like dumping the bag back at their door so they can return it.

I can't even begin to tell the venom that comes out of my MIL and FILs mouth and I absolutely don't want my DD anywhere near it or near them and especially seeing how they treat us.

Just really needed to rant about this! Anyone else have toxic in-laws and not talk to them for the sake of their mental health and children?

OP posts:
OneSmallPieceOfCheese · 13/10/2023 17:59

That sounds so difficult to deal with. Good that you and your husband are in agreement on it.

MintJulia · 13/10/2023 18:02

Don't respond, don't react.

Give the bag of clothes to the charity shop, and forget they existed. Ignore any future contact with ILs. Sometimes you need to do what is best for you, your dh and your child.

Pinkpinkplonk · 13/10/2023 18:03

I would just drop it back. You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to see them, just drop and run.

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Ghostface333 · 13/10/2023 18:07

We went no contact with my MIL a couple of years ago. Best thing we ever did. I wouldn’t return the bag to her, it would be giving a reaction which will be what she’s after. Donate it to charity and say nothing. Good luck!

bungletru · 13/10/2023 18:14

Follow millennial Mat leave on Instagram/ you’ll find the most wonderful community lead by Janelle that will help you with how you’re feeling

xyz111 · 13/10/2023 18:23

Agree with not giving it back. You're playing into the "drama". Give it to a charity shop/ clothing bank, and carry on like nothings happened. Don't let them have a moment more of your thoughts.

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