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Parenting

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Original poster

Kids parties

10 replies

WizzardMum22 · 12/10/2023 19:25

i need some advice on how to navigate the crazy social calendar of my sons new social life now he’s in school!

my DS has started in reception and in that time there’s been 6 birthday invites on weekends & on 2 occasions it’s been one each day!

My dilemma is that it’s just me on a weekend and I actually loathe to go to them and DH can’t take him as he works at the weekend (we co run a business with my parents and he’s the chef) I just hate the weekends being dictated by a child’s birthday party. It’s exhausting! I must add I also have a 5 month old so I have to cart him around to them as well. I just want to chill and go to the park and walk the dog with them and take it easy.

am I being unreasonable? I do ask DS when we get an invite if he wants to go. I say ‘oooo we’ve been invited to X’s birthday party, would you like to go?’ so if he says yes we’re going, but if he says no (which he sometimes does) we don’t…. Is that bad too? 🤣

he’s already asked me to do a party for his next birthday and I hate that idea too 😆 I’m not a natural at this socialising small talk thing with the parents even though I’ve worked in hospitality all my life 🤣

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Chocolateandcakes · 12/10/2023 20:38

Oh OP I know exactly how you feel, DS is in reception and we already have three parties in place! If we can go we generally try to as I don't want DS to miss out in a way however 6 is excessive and these parties are so repetitive, always in a hall with a bouncy house. I'd definitely ask your DS which ones are his friends and aim to go to those but wouldn't push myself to go to all 6. When parents invite the whole class they don't expect everyone to go so I wouldn't feel guilty!

Bluetrue · 13/10/2023 06:13

Looking back, I would take my DC to every party they were invited to because i didn't want them to miss out either. But now, I wish i had because you end up losing part of your weekend, it gets expensive, half the parents never thank you for your gift (rude) and the kids don't even acknowledge who came to their party apart from their BFF!

So go for that nice walk in the park and be thankful you're not in another soft play hell!

PartiesUniverse · 18/12/2023 14:14

Heyy, just sending support! I think it's totally fine to prioritise your kid's closest friends and politely decline the other invitations for family time. We all want what's best for our kids, and that can equally mean throwing a huge party for the whole class as it can declining an invitation to prioritise family time. That said, the overwhelm is real! Sending love, Zoe x

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DelurkingAJ · 18/12/2023 14:16

So long as you reply then I see no problem with turning parties down. It is a time limited problem though, in my experience these die away by Y1 and are non existent by Y2.

CatamaranViper · 18/12/2023 14:21

It dies down a bit when they reach Y2. Fewer whole class parties as they have their little friendship groups and there is only so many parties at the same softplay anyone can cope with.

Just make sure that you respond to the invites.

PuttingDownRoots · 18/12/2023 14:23

Its part of parenting.. are you going to stop them doing sport of music or whatever extra curricular activity they enjoy on a weekend too? My Sundays are completely dictated by Rugby now....

MyEyesMyThighs · 18/12/2023 16:22

What is stopping you asking someone else to take him along? Is it awkwardness? Most people wouldn't mind at all and might even have a slightly shy child who would find it easier rocking up with someone else.

Once the friendships become established, it dies down a bit but I think you should try asking for a bit of help rather than opting out altogether.

Original poster

WizzardMum22 · 18/12/2023 17:19

@PuttingDownRoots I think extra curricular activities are slightly different to a child’s whole class party? If he gets into sport or musical instruments then of course I’d prioritise that. Not sure child’s birthday at the same village hall each weekend is the same thing?

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Original poster

WizzardMum22 · 18/12/2023 17:24

Thanks for your replies everyone! It’s been a couple of months since I posted this thread and I’ve taken the approach of asking him and if he’s dead set about going then we do and I make the most of it. I’ve actually made some mum friends from so it’s worked out well so far. If more then one on a weekend or 2 weekends in a row I politely decline as my preference is to do our own thing and hang out as a 3 together or see my DH between his shifts at work!

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Original poster

WizzardMum22 · 18/12/2023 17:28

@MyEyesMyThighs my DS wouldn’t go with an adult he’s not familiar with even if it’s a friends parent. And wouldn’t let him either as he can be quite sensitive and shy and don’t like to leave him unless he’s 100% comfortable with that person. I don’t have any family who could take him instead either.

glad to hear tho from you and other posters it will die down around Y2! 🤣

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