Reclaiming my bed

[Beansandneedles]

Any veterans out there who can help with this one?

My almost 2.5 year old daughter comes in with me most nights, and has done for more than a year (she also didn't sleep through the night until she was 1). She has nightmares and the whole house gets more rest if she's sharing a bed with someone. She'll settle quickly if I'm right there when the dream starts, but it means I'm awake 2-4 times a night most nights of the week. After what feels like 2.5 years of little to no quality sleep I'm knackered, and sometimes resentful. Just a phase right?

For the past two weeks she's waking earlier and earlier in the mornings (I thought the darker mornings would be the end of this!!) and in an absolutely vile mood. She kicks me in the back, refuses to give me any space in the bed, shouts and screams WAKE UP to everyone in the house and then loses her mind when I follow through on "if you do x then you can't share mummys bed", which means she's screaming blue murder and wakes the whole household regardless. It's genuinely horrible waking to screaming and bad feeling every day and is getting the whole household down. My oldest has started to act up (id imagine because he's tired but also trying to balance the attention levels in the house), I'm just at a loss with what to do.

Is it time to try and get her to stay in her own bed? When I've tried previously it's been traumatic, she wakes up hourly and her protests at being put back to bed wake her brother which means he's cranky the whole next day as well. My husband tries to help but if he approaches her she becomes livid. I WANT MUMMY!!!! Hammering on the doors and having a complete fit. Feel awful for my poor long suffering neighbours. They've even asked me to stop baking apology cakes as there are too many and they need a health kick 😅

What would you do?

Sleep consultant? Is it bad dreams or night terrors?

I know a child who had night terrors and came in to mum and dad until he was NINE... Sorry to say.

I'd also want to talk to the doctor in case it's a sleep disorder, sign of autism or another problem.

Sympathies, it sounds really hard.

I'm pretty sure it's bad dreams. My nephews had terrors and they were another level. My daughter recently had a full check up and a visit from the health visitor, she appears to be a perfectly typical 2.5 year old. I expected to share my bed periodically as a mum but not to this level!!

Thanks for the sympathies!

You need to stay committed to her having her own bed.

Can you set up a bed in your room on the floor?
If she screams she has to go back to her own room.
I would at least make her being in your room subject to her being quiet and not waking anyone else.
Could you reward her for that?

Is she cold?
Does she have worms?
Does she need a heat pack?

Does she understand about alarm clocks?
Would she not wake up others until after the clock is playing music? (Could she enjoy waking others as her special task once the alarm has gone off?)

Does she settle again well once nappy is changed?

Sounds like a nightmare op. Mine had their own room when they were about 6 months old. You'll endc up having a breakdown from no sleep.
Put her in her room. End of.
Your sex life must be suffering!

Start from now,!