Older DD really dislikes Younger DD

[spinspinsugars]

Looking for advice please!
We have two DDs (8&4) both very different personalities- DD8 is quiet, sensitive and gentle. DD4 on the other hand is boisterous, loud and silly. Neither are aggressive or badly behaved just very, very different. The problem is DD8 really dislikes DD4, she won't tolerate her whatsoever - she speaks badly to her, shouting almost, won't play with her and intentionally displays behaviour to 'wind her up' of sorts. I'm absolutely at my wits end with their relationship and can't get over how the eldest is with the youngest, I've never seen her behave like this with anyone else and every tactic we have tried just isn't working!
Both have equal amount of time with DH and I, we do separate and joint days out and gifts / treats are always the same in quantity.
Any tips please wise Mumsnetters?

boisterous, loud and silly. How does this behaviour present and how does it affect dd8?
Does dd4 get told off for annoying dd8 if she does or is it brushed off?

Oh DD4 absolutely gets told off if she is annoying DD8 - we discipline both if it's needed. She never intentionally annoys her oldest Sister but there are situations (for instance) where DD4 will want to listen to music and dance around the living room, whilst eldest wants to play with Lego quietly.
They have separate rooms and I've created a quiet space for eldest DD if she wants to read or have some drawing time, DD4 absolutely adores DD8 and it feels like DD8 won't take any interest in her whatsoever and has never done so. They're such lovely girls in their own right I just wish they would get along!

How do you react when there's drama?

I think you focus on staying very calm. Don't get sucked into doling out punishments for every annoyance. Also, I'd set clear rules about behaviour in advance.

For example, if the quiet daughter gets annoyed about noise in the living room, then she needs to be reminded gently that it's a family space and when we go out in public, we have to deal with other people (i.e., don't make the reply about the younger daughter). She can go and read in her own room if she wants quiet. I'd set a rule around that too though so she doesn't spend all of her time in her room.

At the same time, set a rule around chaos in the living room. No shouting, no running around after X o'clock.

I would also make very sure to talk to your older daughter about this situation. Make sure she knows this is not what you want for her and her sister. Ask her gently to think about what you're saying and to try to have a bit more patience. Whatever you do, though, don't demonize either daughter or start assigning labels like "the quiet one." Make any comments about learning how to share space. Good luck.