Anyone relate?

[chocolateloverr]

Hi
I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this
Maybe I'm hoping someone will so I will feel less alone

I'm a mother of two (twins- soon to be three)

I'd definitely say it's not just motherhood but also life in general
(Lack of time to myself, feeling overstimulated, burnt out and all the rest of it)

It's got me feeling quite trapped
Stuck in a rut

I've been finding that I'm just feeling like I am in a constant state of anger
I feel angry all the time

My ability to react calmly or be in a calm state, doesn't exist

I find myself raising my voice the second a tantrum starts or they start fighting or whinging

I'm fully aware it's not the best approach but I'm also not a robot
I'm human and have feelings so no judgement please

I'm here for advice

I think I'm just completely empty
My cup is empty
And I'm not finding anything enjoyable at the moment

I find it hard to switch off and just generally want to be left alone

Anyone else been here and what did they do to help themselves? Xx

I don't want to be an angry mum
No one wants to be one

But life has really got the best of me

Where is their father in this?

Do you have any nice moments- like can you get good morning cuddles from them?

I know you know this but the temper that leaks out is the worst.
Are you planning too much into your day and getting frustrated that you didn’t achieve something unrealistic.
Are you sure that your expectations are age appropriate? And asking with kindness, which of your expectations aren’t been met that leads to the buttons being pressed.?

I have twins (teenagers now) so do understand how difficult it is.

Apologies that was all questions, meant as info gathering to give a relevant response.

@TheresaOfAvila

Their dad is in the picture
He works
And I also work
So I'll watch the girls during the day and then go to work we he returns home

I do have OCD as well so that's another factor
Which I receive help for

I think I put a lot of pressure on myself
And now I've reached a servere burnt out stage
I have no urges and very little emotion

I definitely don't have any unrealistic expectations of them x
I'm quite knowledgeable of development etc

I'm in a similar place, my DD turned 3 today. I feel like I am angry a lot of the time, I do contain it mostly but sometimes shout. I'm just sick of the daily struggles around washing, dressing, teeth brushing, getting in the car, making food that goes straight in the bin, etc. I work full time which gives me a much needed break. I don't really have any advice, just sympathy!

@Oatsamazing Awww! I'm sorry to hear you're going through it as well😭
It's so hard!
And on top of feeling the way you feel and managing everything else, the Mum guilt is absolutely crazy
I feel like the worlds worst mum
For not being able to be patient or for not feeling happy or having urges to sit down and play with them, be present
The guilt is horrible

I think right now I just feel like I need to be looked after
As crazy and unrealistic as it sounds

That sounds like you have very long days? Do you have any time to yourself- to go for a walk/sit in a library/ whatever. Just time to still your head?

Numbness would definitely point to suffering depression

OP I have a DS and twin DS/DD it is overwhelming! Have you tried CBT? I went for it for an unrelated issue but found it greatly helped me in loads of areas of my life, parenting included

@TheresaOfAvila unfortunately I'm only really able to switch off when the kids have gone to bed
I don't get to go out for walks by myself or do small things like that
I guess it doesn't make it any easier
My partner goes to the gym for a few hours in the evening Monday-Thursday
Something that benefits him
It's his therapy
And he gets out

Whereas i am unable to do that

I'm in a similar situation, burnt out and don't get much alone time. Google 'mum rage' it's a thing and alot of articles offer advice.

I have noticed that being mindful of my emotions helps me to pause before reacting and saves me from tipping over and the inevitable guilt afterwards. Mine is definitely exacerbated by lack of sleep and if I am hungry. Just knowing this has helped me control any potential outbursts.

You're really not alone, it just doesn't get talked about because women aren't supposed to get angry.