1YO whingy/tantrums when home from nursery

[AmberM2022]

So not sure if this is just a rant or if i’m asking for help! But anyway my 1YO goes to nursery 2 full days and 2 half days per week. They always have good things to say 99.9% of the time. and i know kids usually do act differently at nursery, but as soon as i pick him up, he’s crying, screaming, whinging, won’t let me do anything, won’t do any independent play. Just plain upset. They also ALWAYS put him to sleep earlier than i ask, (12.30/1pm instead of 2) so by the time 5/6pm comes he’s absolutely shattered - but will only sleep 10hr at night so if i give him an early bed - it’s up at 4am. Not fun.
I just would love to know do other babies/ toddlers come out of nursery like this??? when they say he’s been so playful and fun all day. I feel like i come home from working all day just to screams and crying and then it’s bed. I’m just hating it at the moment - and he’s not sleeping so that’s no help. 😢

Oh it's the curse of being a good parent I think. I completely relate. Apparently it's called restraint collapse or something like that, as everything has a buzz word these days. When they've been in a stimulating environment all day, holding it together and then they come back home to you and their safe space and it just all comes out. I know that's meant to sound like a really positive thing that they love and trust you but oh boy it can feel overwhelming and tough to life it, especially on not much sleep.

I have no solutions I'm afraid, it's still happening with us even now my oldest is in school. In fact I came home from work the other day and was moaning to my husband about my day and I rrakised that's essentially the same thing! Sometimes after being out we all need to offload a bit to someone we love and trust.

We try and always pick up the kids with a good snack and to not ask to much of them in the first hour or so after coming back. Try and keep activities calm and give them as much attention as we have available. It's hard for me as I always want to be getting things done but it creates so much more harmony if they're able to get out any pent up feelings in a safe environment, get all the whinges out, have some cuddles, read a book and do something together.

Being rested definitely helps. Hope that changes for you soon!

I think they play up at home because they feel safe. All day he’s been doing what is expected of him: playing nicely, listening, eating what he’s given, generally behaving. He gets home, is exhausted just from being “on” doesn’t know how to express himself and pushes boundaries.

It's because he's tired, and he's only tiny. It's very normal. You're his safe place to let it all out. If it helps, my four year old is behaving the same at the moment while he settles into school!

It will get better as he gets older and can handle longer between naps. Make sure he gets good long naps on non-nursery days, and when he gets home just stick Cbeebies on and give him a snack so he can zone out for a bit.

He's just tired and worked up from an exciting day.