Being chipped away by the 4 month regression

[Rorous]

My son used to be a great sleeper and would mostly do a 6-8hr stretch followed by another 2-4hrs (after a feed). He would also self-settle with a dummy so on the occasions he woke up in between I could just pop a dummy in a he would go back to sleep.

The 4 month sleep regression has hit and, in addition to having a cold, he’s become so needy I am losing the will to live. He just constantly wants to be held and will only cuddle to sleep. The thing that is bothering me most is I used to have a feeling of “my baby needs me” when he cried and I would go straight to him, but now I feel like I could just leave him to cry! It’s the last 5 nights I have felt like this but he’s been sleeping horrendously for ~4 weeks. Can anyone give me some tips/help me see the light at the end of the tunnel? Thanks.

I felt exactly the same you are not alone - sleep deprivation is a killer. My boy is 8 months now and we are going through a similar regression.

the only thing that helped me was around then getting a proper schedule and being on top of wake windows and naps. I think around then he refused naps too so I had to really rock etc to get him to nap. We went from 4 naps to 3 naps I think and stretched the wake windows slightly which helped. Other than that hang in there and get sleep when/if you can. I know it’s not what you want to hear that it will pass because it’s hard reading/hearing that now when your in it - I’m the exact same now so it’s hard to give that advice to someone else when that’s not the answer you want to hear but it goes get better. Hang in there!

Oh you poor thing. It hit us hard too, lasted about 5 weeks in total but it felt much longer with the sleep deprivation.

Can you do split nights with your partner? We used to do it so anything before 3am was up to my husband, and after 3am was on me. This way, we both knew we would have a little chunk of sleep. It feels like it will never end, but it will.

Hate to say I found the 9 month one harder because he's more active, but we've come out the other side of that one now too. These phases are so hard but they do pass.

Just keep up with routine. It'll pass. I was one of the lucky ones, my son never went through any of the regressions. X

Firsttimer1125 & LolaJ87 thank you! It’s nice to know I am not alone at least. I keep reading things which say I should be doing this and that, it’s difficult to know what to do. I’m definitely paying more attention to wake windows to encourage naps but again he needs to be cuddled or wakes up, I’ll just have to go with it and wait for it to pass!

Cowlover89 I think we are all very envious!

LolaJ87 my husband doesn’t wake up!

Is he breastfed? Split the night with your DH as suggested. Give him a nudge to wake him up if need be. It might also help if you go to bed very early and leave DH to sort baby up until 12 or 1 or whatever suits.

It's a bugger but doesn't last forever. In all honesty you've been lucky with him up til now, one wake up a night and settling easily is not too bad at all for early days. DC1 was colicky and would wake every few hours and cry a lot before she'd settle again, probably from birth until six months or so.

You do adjust to sleep deprivation over time, your body just learns to exist on less sleep and you go through life in a kind of sleepy haze. We did get so tired that the baby would cry and DH and I would both be dreaming that we'd got up to sort her, but actually were both asleep...

Mine didn't either - he needed nudging, but then I'd roll over and go back asleep! He actually does now, so something must have clicked.

On not knowing what to do - honestly I don't think you can do anything through a regression except get pockets of sleep/rest when you can and hang in there.

A tip I got to see if he needed to nap was really helpful though, in case that might help in the day if your baby is fighting naps. Hold him up to a mirror - if he gets excited or reacts to his reflection, he's wide awake, if he doesn't then he needs to sleep.

Most babies are out of the 4 month regression within 6 weeks, so you're probably going to come out the other side really, really soon.

LolaJ87 I will try the mirror technique, thank you! I’m really hoping we are nearing the end!

Thank you for your responses!