How on earth do I cut toddlers hair?

[RedWhiteRed]

So my DS is 3 and have quite a thick and curly hair and it has always been a pain to cut it a bit shorter. I don’t know if all toddlers are the same but he doesn’t really like his hair being touched, caressed. Both me and DP tried all the techniques, phone distraction,bribery, we tried with scissors, we tried with the electric hair trimmer,nothing. He just screams NOOO and runs away. Honestly I don’t know how DP did it in the past, it wasn’t this crazy! Also don’t want to force him or physically restrain him, sitting on top of him, to cause him some trauma after that and he will freak out next time even more.
Any tips? Any maybe product suggestions?

I’d take him to a pro-don’t make him associate the upset with the situation with you…kids very often act differently with a professional than with their parent

We take our son to a barbers. They have a fish tank and a little Yorkie dog so he's massively distracted by all the decoration and just lets the barber get on with it. A biscuit or two helps keep him still as well.

What is it that needs cutting and why?

Can you get away with just a fringe trim and let him have it longer than you'd prefer? Would he wear a hair clip to keep his fringe out of his eyes?

I can’t believe you’re trying to do it yourself! I would never be ballsy enough to attempt that, pretty sure it would be utter carnage.

Take him to a professional- either a barber that has one of those race cars in the window or better yet, because I’ve found the barbers can be a mixed bag, an actual children’s hairdresser. There’s one in a kids clothes shop near me that’s amazing. How straight she can cut whilst they’re wiggling is astonishing and she’s totally unfazed if they get upset.

Let it grow. Soon enough he will be insisting it is cut into the latest style. There is no harm in a boy having long hair. All my grandsons did until they got to an age when they wanted it cut.

Professional toddler hairdresser - they are magic. I got my children's hair cut because it made keeping them clean easier! the joy of removing mushed bananas and pasta sauce wore off! I've no issue at all with boys with long hair but it can make life miserable for them if it regularly needs to undergo food removal!

I used to do my ds2s whilst he was asleep in bed! He was the same but hated the hairdressers too. It meant I had to wait until he was deep asleep and until he turned over to do the other side!! It was a bit wonky but much preferable to the alternatives. Start slowly - a bit each night. (Curly hair is much easier to do than straight hair!)

Agree, take him to a barbers. They have a knack of persuading small children.

My ds never let me near him but accepted the barber without issue.

Maybe we should try one of those barbers with cars and stuff for kids. I kinda thought about it but I’m not sure he would be ok with some random person touching his hair and would scream the place down even before he touched him. But I’ll think about it.

This is my sons hair, just not styled now. Very thick and curly and if it grows too long it just looks like a rats nest. So it’s easier to manage and style when it’s shorter.

@RedWhiteRed He has beautiful hair! 😍 I hoped my son would get my curls but alas, he has straight hair with a vague wave to it.

Just grade 2 clipper it. It will soon grow back.

I'd leave it for a while. Take him to the barber every time his dad goes. His dad should talk about how lovely it is to get hair cut. See if he'll join in in a few months.

Constant pressure will harden his resistance!

I cut my son's hair in his sleep. I wait until about 30 mins after he's fallen asleep when he seems to be in his deepest sleep and cut it in his bed, with a towel on his pillow. Always a bit of a surprise when he wakes up to see what it looks like but I can tidy it over the next few days. Same for fingernail cutting. Hoping to try a kids barber soon but this works for now.

If I went near my son with clippers he would be traumatised for life.

If it's not in his eyes, I wouldn't worry too much.

My kids let me cut it if I let them watch something on my phone. I know you said that didn't work but you could add in a bribe like a magazine or something, that he rarely gets?

You can also consider letting go of the idea of a single haircut, if need be you can do the fringe at one point, the top on another, the back on another - not the best look but saves on the screaming a bit.

A sharp pair of hairdressing scissors will also be your friend - blunt ones pull a bit more on the hair. Buzzers sound scary, I've never bothered.

Look up a youtube video on haircutting for kids, there are loads!

Some kids might take to hairdressers, mine never have. They used to have one in the mothercare near me that was just for kids, the store was always full of horrible screams - I wonder why they went bust!?

You can also make it part of a beauty parlour - get kids nail varnish (it flakes off in 2 mins!), buy or make up some hair spray, play with putting cucumber on your eyes etc.

Doing it in their sleep is a bit scary - fancy waking up and finding your hair had gone - they might worry that something else might vanish in the night!! 😲

Isn't it a bit worrying that he already has issues like this? I would be much more concerned about how he is responding than how long his hair was.

I don’t have a good answer but wish to offer hope.

One of my DS got kicked out of two barbers during his childhood for being so distressed. Pros were not an option. We cut his hair in his sleep when he was a toddler and as he got older we’d have horrific evening with the clippers at home while he sobbed. He did not want long hair. Around the age of 11 we had to go to a barber because we were living abroad without clippers. It was stressful, but fine.

He is a teenager now and gets hair cuts at the barber all the time. I do not arrange this. He seems to enjoy it. He was not traumatised. He never had SEN. It was a phase. It passed.

good luck!

My DS is 2, wouldn't let us near it with the scissors when we just wanted to do one snip in the bath. What worked in the end was a combination of bribery, watching CBeebies on the ipad, and doing it in the garden so the birds would be able to make nests out of the hair. He very very rarely gets either chocolate or TV, so the bribes were more valuable to him. He was super proud of his 'smart' haircut afterwards, though, so I think it might be easier next time.