Hi all,
A dad here using my partners account looking for some mum advice.
I have a 5 year old son with my ex-partner I see him regularly as I have a court order in place from when she stopped contact. The court order has been in place for around 2 years or so now.
My son has become increasingly upset with having to go back to his mums but due to his age doesn’t completely say as to why.
This evening I had my weekday visit with him where I see him for 2 hours to take him for dinner etc all was fine and we had a great time until I said it was time to go back to his mums. The whole drive back he kept saying he didn’t want to go back and wanted to come to mine. When I parked up he flat out refused to get out the car and was begging me to take him back to my house in the end his mum had to come out and I had to carry him to the door he was clinging to the door screaming at me saying ‘daddy daddy please don’t go please take me back to your house’ I was heartbroken I spent 30 minutes in my car crying.
I tried to talk to him about it and here are a few things he said:
’you do things with me like go on walks and play and make me happy’ I said he can do these things with mummy too but he said she doesn’t.
I told him if he lived with me he would still have to go to school it wouldn’t just be a weekend of fun he would still need to go to school etc he said he wanted to do this.
He said, ‘when I have nightmares you always come to me and make me feel happy’ I told him that if he has nightmares at his mummy’s then to go to her and his response was ‘I can’t ***(mums partner) just gets angry at me if I do that’
he has increasingly shown he is scared of her current partner.
I just don’t know what to do anymore I am so worried about him and felt absolutely awful leaving him when he was begging me not to. Unfortunately she has recently moved around an hour away from me to be closer to her partners family so I am not around for school drop off and pick ups etc but he has begged me to do the school drop offs and to talk to his teachers (unsure what he wants to me say to his teachers) I think I am going to contact the school tomorrow to maybe arrange a meeting?
Unfortunately I can’t have a civil conversation with his mum as she gets very defensive and gets angry quite quickly.
I just don’t know what to do for the best and would love some advice.
sorry for the long read!