Looking for some advice please. Long post but feel its important to say what I've tried already.
My DD (age 5) is struggling to make friends at school, in primary 2. In primary 1 she made some friends quite quickly, a wee group of 4 of them and it was a nice safe anchor for her.
They've moved into p2 and the class was all split. The 4 of them were kept together which was a relief.
In p2 though, they've moved into the bigger playground and the 3 girls aren't interested anymore. They've all separated and gone off with new friends... except my DD.
She is confident and social. She goes and asks people to play and gets told no, or they say ok but then just kind of ignore her while she tries to tag along. Noone ever initiates with her, ie approaches her and asks her to play.
She told me this and of course you suspect it's exaggeration or not quite accurate. I went and looked at the playground on a few different days... that is exactly what was happening to her.
Heartbreakingly, I watched while she clearly was getting turned away by, or ignored by, the other kids and she tried over and over again with others. Then she went and sat on a bench herself, miserable and defeated. It was awful to see.
I have tried the following, but it is making no difference at school:
- Told teacher, asked for help
- Messaged the other school mums asking if they'd mind asking their kids to keep an eye if they see her on her own to let her join in.
- Arranged playdates with old and new classmates (which go ahead and are fine, but I can feel a reluctance from the kids).
- Observed her behaviour with other kids. She is kind, fun, outgoing and plays well. The only issue I saw was perhaps she is a bit clingy/needy, but I saw that that only came from the other kids being rude/disinterested/not forthcoming, so she reacted a bit by kind of trying to make herself more visible. I've observed her playing when she's getting that good interaction and she doesn't act needy or clingy at all, so it's a reactive thing only.
I've no idea what she is doing wrong and how I can try to help her apart from what I am doing already. She has gone from being confident, really happy and - dare I say it - popular in p1, to being totally lost in p2. She dreads school, she is clearly unhappy and she is longing to be wanted and included as a friend.
Her home life is warm, welcoming, fun, inclusive and with plenty of healthy communication, boundaries and love. She has a younger brother and a dog and they all play lovely together.
She goes to drama class, rainbows, dance class and gymnastics class. She loves all of them and gets on fine with the kids there (including the odd playdate).
Any tips, advice or even just reassurance that it might change??