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7 year old always saying sorry!

2 replies

FunkyFangtooth · 08/10/2023 21:02

My 7 year old says sorry a lot over very minor things. One example would be earlier we were doing a craft kit together. She hadn't properly listened to an instruction so one bit went a bit wrong. I didn't say much initially as I was looking at it trying to work out how best to help her resolve it. I don't know if she took this as my disapproval as she said "Oh I'm so, so sorry mummy." I reassured her it was fine and I was just trying to see how to fix it. Or yesterday she slipped over in some mud wearing some new tights and she was apologising that they were all mucky. Again, I reassured her it wasn't a problem. There's probably one or two examples like this every day where she apologizes for really minor things as if she has done something much bigger.

I'm now really questioning my parenting, and wandering if I have somehow made her overly critical of herself. I really don't feel like we are particularly critical of her. Like any parent I occasionally get frustrated at her and sometimes I express my frustration unfairly but I do always try really hard to apologize and explain if my behaviour wasn't right. The only time I can really think that we have pushed her to say sorry was a couple of years ago she had a phase of if she accidentally hurt someone she would say "It was an accident" so we would always say "even if it's an accident it's kind to say sorry" so I don't know if that has gone into her subconscious somehow?

I guess I am just worried we have somehow knocked her self confidence or made her feel like she always has to feel bad about really tiny things. Do other people's children do this? The only stuff I can find is about children who won't apologize!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SmileyClare · 08/10/2023 21:13

I do try really hard to apologise and explain if my behaviour isn’t right

Maybe she’s copying what you’re modelling here?

I don’t think you need to be overly worried. As long as she’s not upset or anxious about your reaction to minor mistakes.

Maybe just reassure her that you’re not cross, and that if she’s had an accident (like falling over or making a mistake making something) then she doesn’t need to say sorry. You could make light of it and encourage her to see the funny side.

She sounds like a lovely child and you a good parent so don’t be too concerned with this habit she has.

I remember saying to my ds when he was little and given a present- What do you say to grandma? And he said Sorry 😂

Kids take a while to work out what social niceties to use and when!

justanothernamechangemonday · 08/10/2023 21:45

"Peggy the always sorry pigeon" book might help here. You can find the CBeebies bedtime story episode on iplayer too. Wendy Meddour / Carmen Saldana are authors.

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