Leaving sleeping toddler to take dog out for a wee

[Denbie]

We have always worked the dogs routine around when both of us are home so that our toddler is never left alone

However I am due to be away for 2 days next weekend and me and my partner are at an impasse RE what is acceptable

We live in a second floor flat, (no lift, stairs only) and cannot get locked out as the communal door magnet lock has never worked … I think it will be fine to run the dogs down for a wee outside of the main communal door while our toddler is sleeping in his crib and taking a monitor with us

This will take a couple of minutes and our bedroom window is directly above the communal door so you can hear everything even without the monitor anyway

I feel it’s not too different to being in your garden and baby asleep upstairs in a house, not ideal obviously but workable on this very temporary basis … partner feels this isn’t acceptable

Obviously this won’t be to go for walkies, strictly just for a toilet break directly outside the door … what do you guys think?

Needs must if that's the only choice, most likely it will be fine though it's not ideal. Might you have a friendly neighbour who could take the dog for you?

Of course it's fine - what if you were actually living in a house and baby was asleep in their room upstairs whilst you were in the garden or cooking etc? People in bigger houses don't just sit in the room next door to their toddler just incase the sky falls down. Sounds like his issue is you going away for the weekend!

@MrsTerryPratchett … I don’t know how to reply directly to your comment like you have to mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

we were all supposed to be going together to visit my brother and his new baby, but they had to cancel our last visit as my sister in law wasn’t well … they re-arranged but I wasn’t able to get the dogs rebooked into kennels at short notice so my partner said to me just to go and he will stay home with the bubs and the dogs (because it’s a long drive to do in my own with the bubs - over 4 hours)

so I confirmed with my brother and since then, partner has been backtracking on it not being possible for him to do the dogs with the bubs, hence my question on here as I don’t feel it’s unreasonable 🤷🏼‍♀️

Is the front and back of your house in view at all times?

Ahhhh

Well in that case. It's his problem to sort out. He told you it was fine.

Ahh ok, that’s a hard no then! I mean, I’m a single parent with a toddler and often bring the washing in / put the bins out etc when he’s finally down for the night so I do completely see the logic. But for me the only difference is that there are a few more variables (locked doors, possibility of dog doing a runner etc) that add a - very slight but nonetheless real - element of the unknown.

If it’s your partner putting the brakes on the situation then I’d say it’s for him to find a workable solution. And I don’t mean you not going away. I’m sure if he were to put an ad on your local community FB page asking for a short-term dog walker there’d be takers. We’re in midst of a COL crisis FFS, and MNers love to tell people to advertise their services for anything and everything 😂

Best of luck whatever you decide on though. And have a great few nights away ☺️

People having a problem with them is just bizarre. What on earth do you think is going to happen with a sleeping baby in a cot, with a monitor, for a few minutes while the dogs have a pee? It's like people have forgotten when their babies napped and they took the bins out/ did some gardening/ had a cup of tea in the garden.

Massive eye roll at the hysteria.
Have a lovely weekend away!
And if DP doesn't want to do it then he'll have to work out how the dogs can pee while the baby is awake and maybe spend a bit more time out of the flat with dogs and baby?

I don't sit in the garden when my toddler child is in the house - that seems incredibly dangerous

Wtf?!

Mildly insane - take the toddler outside for a wee with him because of catastrophising.

Totally insane - not going away because the dogs need to be let out for a wee, despite there being a monitor and only two flights of stairs.

I would let a dog out if my toddler was having a nap upstairs in my house, I think it's fine. As long as you don't venture away from the building and you can hear him. Can you take a monitor with you?

It's fine 🙂

I’ve just taken my dog for a wee and my three y.o is on the second floor in her bed.
i have no monitor or anything. I just pop her out the front door for a sniff and a potter and DDs windows are open on the lock (2 inch or something) so I can hear her.

i think it’s fine.
no different to that.

In this scenario the toddler is still in a cot they can't get out of. Where is the danger? I'd sit in my garden in that scenario, especially with a monitor.

You never go in the garden when your toddler child is asleep or contained.
i put dd down for her nap in her bed and hang washing out, water plants bla bla bla
that’s normal is it not.

Does he want you to take the baby with you? Is that why he's being so ridiculous about this because quite honestly, I'm really struggling to see the issue. If it was me, I'd probably be obsessively taking multiple sets of keys with me "just in case" - but then I used to be like that when just taking the bins out or whatever and I live in a standard double story semi detached house.

The fear some people seem to live in is excessive. You're taking the dogs to the front door to do a wee. You have a monitor. If the baby wakes up, he's not going to come to any harm. The chances of a fire suddenly springing up and preventing your DP from getting back upstairs in 5 minutes are so low as to be almost meaningless.

So I can only assume that at best, he's got serious anxiety he needs to work on, or, at worst, he's actually not very happy about being left at home with the dogs and the baby and is doing whatever he can to convince you not to go.

They'll be able to get out one day... who knows when that will be. Also depending on the house set up you can't see the other door. Or may have to go through a kitchen (most likely place to be on fire) to rescue them.

It is not. Maybe it depends where you live.

I wouldn't because it's different to popping into a house garden, in a flat you will have a locked door between you and them. Same reason I wouldn't ever leave a child in a hotel room alone.
I would get a sling and take toddler with me, or ask a neighbour to help out.

And also other people

He wants you to take the baby with you…

I genuinely find this fascinating because I'm a very anxious person but this just isn't something I would feel anxiety over. By all of this logic, would you not have a bedroom on a different level of your house to your child? Because again, I wouldn't think that felt like a dangerous situation.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here with why there are such opposing views. I live in a very, very safe town. I grew up here, I know all my neighbours. I wouldn't think twice about going outside with my toddler asleep inside. But I've never lived in a city.

If you know a neighbour, I'd ask them if you could let them know when you are going and again when you're back, so if somehow you did get locked out or whatever, there would be someone in the building who knew the baby was there.

To me there is a difference between going out in the yard of your own house where you are right by your own open door and leaving a toddler alone in an apartment while you leave the building. I would absolutely go outside my house but I wouldn’t leave them alone in an apartment and leave the building. I am sure you could take the dogs out or run to the store or go do laundry in the basement of the building without anything happening but I just wouldn’t leave a young child alone in a locked unit and exit a multi unit building.

If it is perfectly safe and nothing could possibly ever happen, how long or far would you be comfortable with. Going for dinner? To the store? For a run?