6 year old portions/ weight

[BravelyThroughTheDragonsEye]

Would appreciate some views. My daughter is small and slight for her age, and I really worry that I am under-feeding her, although she never asks for more. She was 6 in May. Currently she is 116cm tall and weighs 18.5kg. She has always been small (9th - 25th centile as a baby) but has been a good eater since she started solids. When I see her in isolation, she looks fine to me, if a little on the wiry side. But when I see her in close proximity to other kids in her class,.she just looks so much less solid and substantial. She just seems to have much smaller, lighter bones (as well as having no spare chub).

If that's just how she is, that's fine. But does this sound like a reasonable amount of food?

Typical weekday: bowl of cereal/ overnight oats plus a bit of fruit for breakfast. School lunch - whatever is on offer. Snack when she gets home - fruit, cheese and crackers, a couple of biscuits with milk, etc. Dinner: a pasta bowl of rice/ cous cous with stew or curry on top (e.g. chicken curry, aubergine and chickpea curry with coconut milk, lamb tagine), with fruit for pudding (sometimes with a biscuit or piece of chocolate too). Sometimes she'll have a cup of milk or hot chocolate.

Typical weekend, as above, but we usually have cheese and ham toasties/chicken sandwiches for lunch and pancakes with honey and fruit for breakfast. She normally has 1 - 2 pancakes. She normally has a snack at some point (sometimes fruit, sometimes crisps, sometimes a cookie, depending where we are and what we are doing).

To me, this seems like a reasonable (not perfect) diet. But do other kids just eat much more? I don't especially want to rush to bulk her up as she eats what I think is sensible and healthy food. But am I delusional/ too strict?

That is a perfectly reasonable amount. Our perception of what a healthy child looks like is off because of how many overweight kids there are. If she is following a similar centile for height and weight then she is fine.

She is almost exactly the same as my petite boy of the same age. I know what you mean about seeming less substantial but I’ve mentioned his weight a few times to doctors when we’ve been there for other reasons and they never seem concerned. He eats a bit more than your little one (I add a crumpet as well as what you’ve listed for breakfast and he has a mini soreen rather than fruit at break to keep his calories up) but he just doesn’t seem to put weight on despite me best efforts.

She sounds like a perfectly fine weight, I’m pretty sure my 6 year old is the same , I always get told DS is skinny yet he is perfectly on the 50th percentile for height and weight.

Why are you worried? Do you weigh her often? Some people are just petite.

@LittleMonks11 I don't weigh her often, but my husband gets very stressed about it (and claims she needs more potato waffles...). My mum said that she had worried about it, but dismissed it because she knows my daughter eats well and is active. I also have a bit of unresolved guilt over breastfeeding struggles when she was tiny and sometimes worry irrationally that that stunted her growth.

(Although it must be said that DH and are not huge - I'm 5'3 and 8 stone, he's 5'5 and 9 1/2 stone or so.)

She is never going to be big given your heights. Please relax, if she is not hungry or lethargic and not dropping centiles she doesnt need more food.

Well there you go then. Don't stress about it as she will get a complex.

Sounds ok to me. My DD is also 6 and is 112cm and around 19.5kg. I’d say she eats a pretty equivalent diet to your DD. She’s got slim arms and legs and a bit of a tummy but nothing to be concerned about. I do notice that she’s a bit smaller than some of her peers but someone always has to be smallest! Try not to worry.

dont worry, she’s fine. I know many teenagers/adults who weren’t breastfed and are fine in height/weight. If she’s not allergic, perhaps get her to eat more nuts, nut butter etc as they are calorific.

Is she following her centile? If you have her red book they have growth charts going up to 18 yrs.

My family used to constantly tell me that my eldest was too skinny. He was 50% percentile for height and weight as a child. I think that of perception of a healthy child’s weight is skewed as children have gotten bigger.
Also someone has to be the smallest.

She seems fine, just petite compared to other kids.
We forget that kids are okay to be skinny. As long it does not unhealthy skin and bone, I wouldn't worry.
Overfeeding kids is a bigger problem these days.

People do have a skewed view of how children should look, DS eats really well, today overnight oats and a pear, cheese toastie a banana and a yoghurt for lunch, dinner was a beef casserole with carrot, swede, parsnip and mushrooms in it with new potatoes (he had 2 biggish ones), tenderstem broccoli and a dumpling and then had an ice cream at the seafront when we went for a cycle after dinner. He's had two cups of milk over the course of today along with the usual water.

We were at a soft play party yesterday and when he took his jumper off he pulled his t-shirt up, another mum said oh are you feeding him enough you can see his ribs! Sounding shocked. He tracks between 50-75th centile for weight and 75-90th for height and always has. He is constantly active does gymnastics, rugby tots and swimming and we are generally outdoorsy in all weathers. He is heavy to lift. There is no way he looks underweight to me, he doesn't have 'chub' but that doesn't mean he's underweight.

Your DC sounds like they have a good balanced diet, and eats what they need, that's a good thing.

Are you yourself small and petite ?

My ds is nearly 7 and similar height and weight. He is perfectly healthy weight and height and so is your daughter. You child is never going to huge with parents as petite as you are. A lot of children these days are overweight so we've lost track of what normal looks like.

I always remember reading that in a child who is a healthy weight you will see their ribs when they reach up to the sky. Obviously you don't want to see ribs sticking out when they are standing naturally. That might be a worry.

@LittleMonks11 Thank you - yes, her ribs are clearly visible, but it's more that she just seems small next to her peers. Not even that much shorter, but like a little bird. It's hard to convey, but where they sort of thump around the place, she is a bit floaty and wispy (not in personality, though!). She is just a lot less solid.

Short of sending her to body building classes I'm not sure you can do anything. Sounds like she eats well and is happy. She may 'bulk up' as she grows and develops muscle.

My friend's niece is tiny - she's a brilliant dancer. Her parents are small too.

My main concern would to not be making her feel self conscious in any way.

She sounds like she eats well and healthily, so it seems fine really given you and your DH’ builds also.
Id ask the GP to clear any doubt for good, but the answer is likely to be that she’s fine, they may recommend a little extra/vitamins (or small things like full fat milk), but it does seem fine. It’s just always best to check with a professional (and it also gets the worry out of your head once and for all).

I was the same as a child (mid 90s for her age) but lots of my friends both at school and ballet were, and we all grew up fine and quite differently I’d note as teenagers, some gained quite a bit of weight, some stayed very slim naturally (as in still eating till full), and everything in between.

So, my advice would be to consult a health professional because nothing replaces that, and once you’re hopefully reassured, probably reconsider if she enters intense physical activity (again, just ask the GP) as that would be a change to her calories amount (I did lots of ballet quite young for instance, then again whatever you fed me I’d stay the same), or any other changes. But she does sound like she has a good diet.

Thank you for all the kind and reassuring responses. I'll speak to the school nurse to confirm. @Godlovesall26 she does a normal level of activity - dodgeball and swimming lessons once a week each after school, plus we usually go indoor climbing and swimming at the weekend - but she doesn't do 10 hours of gymnastics or anything like that. She is mostly found reading!

You and your DH are both very dainty! I expect your little girl is destined to be short and slim and there’s nothing wrong with that. Her food sounds balanced and varied and if she’s full of energy and not constantly under the weather you have no worries. One of mine was a dinky wee thing but my other is an absolute unit and towers over his school mates and carries a lot of chunk too Which isn’t good and we are working hard to correct. Your daughter sounds lovely, stop worrying.