What is wrong with me?

[Canterbury58]

I’m mum to an amazing nearly 2 year old and really struggling with my feelings around other people having 2nd babies. Two of my friends who had babies at the same time as my first have recently given birth to their 2nd
and nearly all of my other ‘mum’ friends are pregnancy with number 2 as well!

My parent is pretty adamant we aren’t having anything. He cites money as the reason why as nursery fees are crippling us which I understand. He’s also saying it’s because of my mental health as I suffered from pretty awful PND after having my daughter.

I’m starting to feel a really strong desire to have another. I’m 38 so time isn’t really on my side though! I feel really uneasy that my chance to have a second might be taken out of my hands as ultimately, we both need to be on board with it and my partner really isn’t.

Financially, I feel so frustrated! We earn a decent amount (£130k joint income) but mortgage rates and nursery fees means paying double nursery fees just wouldn’t be an option.

I feel so jealous of my friends who have just had a baby and it’s making me feel really annoyed with myself.

Has anyone else had these feelings? Help!

That's the age I find broodiness kicks in, I'm sure there's something hormonal about it.

It seems hard to believe that you genuinely couldn't manage two lots of nursery fees with that income. Not unless yo7r mortgage is catastrophically large! Things are cheaper as they get older (free hours, lower staffing ratios), and you can save by doing fewer days while you are on Mat leave.

But yes, you can't do it unless your OH is totally on board.

If you start trying to conceive now, by the time the baby is born and you take some maternity leave your eldest will be eligible for free hours at nursery or even be starting school. I'd factor that in to your financial decisions.