How much do you talk to your toddler?

[Bearbookagainandagain]

Went to the playground today with my 2yo and met another parent with a kid similar age that goes to the same nursery. I noticed that I was talking a lot more to my son than the other parent was, and generally more than all the other parents on the playground. Things like commenting on the birds flying or the toy they were playing with (the colour, shape, ...), or asking him what nose the animal-shaped slide was doing...

I think part of it is to help develop his language, he has learned a lot of vocabulary recently by repeating things. And also it's because I like interacting with him in general, and I don't want him to feel ignored.

But now I'm wondering if I'm not a bit over the top. Also, we saw one of my friends last summer for a few days and her 5yo was a nightmare, constantly interrupting us talking and wanting to be the center of attention. My friend would always stop our conversation to answer her daughter or comment on what she was doing.
I'm a bit concerned I'm heading this way because our son starts to repeat things over and over again until we acknowledge him. He literally won't stop until we say "yes X, there is a bird".

How much interaction is maybe too much? Should I hold on and stay quiet sometimes, for instance on the way to nursery, rather than comment on everything we see?

It is good for young children to learn language skills and develop vocabulary. It doesn't have to lead to interrupting. That is about learning to understand to take turns talking.

I think what you are doing is great. I used to chatter away to my kids, count the stairs as we went up and down, talk about colours of things we saw, sing silly made up songs... My son turned into a real chatterbox, DD not so much.

We talked a lot to our kid. Now he's a very articulate, friendly, chatty guy. He did interrupt at age 3 but now he's 4 he's learnt to wait. Though he is still a bit of an attention seeker. Look at me mummy!! Sometimes I think those who left their kid to it were onto something. Then I think I couldn't be prouder of this lovely chatty person.

I believe whatever you do your kid won't be 'perfectly behaved' in every way. Some parents encourage independence in the playground, others enhance vocab.

You do you. All good.

I suspect you know perfectly well that you're doing the right thing and the other parents aren't. But we all need affirmation. So, yes, you are doing the right thing.
So long as you're not doing it loudly and performatively. My 6 year old dd told me off for doing this to her toddler brother And she was right. "What's that, darling? Yes, we do need rice. We're making risotto-yes, I know it's your favorite-so what rice do we need? Carnaroli? That's right! And if we were making curry? Can you point to the basmati?"....

Children need both interaction and time with their own thoughts/to entertain themselves.

If you're like this all the time, then yes, it probably is a bit much. The playground is a great place for him to interact with other people, watch and listen to other kids, work things out for himself etc. Obviously don't ignore him if he talks to you, but constantly making every moment a lesson in shapes/colours/animal noises is unnecessary. It's necessary for him to play quietly according to his own inner motivation sometimes.

I suspect you know perfectly well that you're doing the right thing and the other parents aren't.

The other parents are not doing the wrong thing by letting their child play in the playground without constant commentary.

I think I’m somewhere in the middle. If he’s happy playing on his own, I’ll leave him be, especially if there’s other kids around because I like for him to interact with them when possible, but if we’re playing together or it’s just me and him (shopping or whatever), I talk to him allllll the time. I’ve always been a talker 🤣 I expect some people think I’m performative but I don’t really care.
Do what you think is best. That’s all anyone can really do!

Agreed. Not every moment has to be filled with chat. Let him explore himself

I am being supported with parenting due to my own autism and was actually told that I need to do this more

The comment about carnoli rice made me laugh

I don't believe you can interact 'too much' with babies/toddlers/young children. You're doing what comes naturally to you and having lots of interaction will definitely help his language and vocabulary as you say. Don't worry about what others are doing and don't worry about thinking if I do x now, child might be like y in the future. Children interrupt and want attention and an answer regardless of whether they are spoken to loads or just some of the time. You're doing great :)

There's a big difference between a 2 year old insisting on instant attention/focus and a 5 year old, so you don't need to compare your own child with that of your friend - a 5 year old is capable of understanding the concept of conversation and waiting for their turn, whilst a 2 year old can't be expected to have that same comprehension. So there's no need to have those worries - your son won't automatically turn into your friend's daughter, unless you teach him to do so (or fail to teach him patience in this case).

I think what you're doing sounds great and I do the same with my DD (2.5). As she gets older I am slowly starting to introduce her to the concept of waiting etc, but at a slow pace that reflects her developmental understanding. But for now, natter away and listen to him/validate him as much as he needs! I absolutely love chatting with my daughter and listening to her express her thoughts (which are usually a bit bonkers) - before I know it she'll be all grown up and won't want to talk to me for 10 minutes about the snail shell she found, or the leaf that's stuck to her shoe, and I shall be broken hearted

I think what you're doing sounds great and I do the same with my DD (2.5). As she gets older I am slowly starting to introduce her to the concept of waiting etc, but at a slow pace that reflects her developmental understanding. But for now, natter away and listen to him/validate him as much as he needs! I absolutely love chatting with my daughter and listening to her express her thoughts (which are usually a bit bonkers) - before I know it she'll be all grown up and won't want to talk to me for 10 minutes about the snail shell she found, or the leaf that's stuck to her shoe, and I shall be broken hearted

I agree with this, I loved that time of chatting away and listening to their responses or stories. I too will also be broken hearted once that stops

I do a running commentary because he's blind, I can think of nothing more scary than being in a wheelchair and being turned left or right without warning, I warn him of bumps and changes in surface, I tell him about things that are approaching like a dog for example so a sudden bark doesn't scare the shit out of him. But there are also times when I just let him hear the sounds around him like when we go out for a walk down by the river or in the forest. I tell him about all the things I can see, I have no idea if it makes any sense to him as he also has a huge developmental delay. I use on body signing with him and he is beginning to anticipate things that are happening to him, for example I will sign "Ready" and "Up" on him when I am going to lift him and now I am beginning to see him brace ready to help me by trying to control his head.

When we are out walking I often wonder what people think of my constant chatter to him because he "doesn't look blind" (I have had that said so many times to me), and his off road wheelchair looks like a buggy rather than a wheelchair, I do chat quietly though.

@Ratfinkstinkypink you are an amazing mother.

If it's just the two of you, I can't see any harm to plenty of interaction.

I probably would time it down at the playground. He needs to learn to interact with other children as well as you, and that's an ideal setting.

Most children do interrupt. Toddlers aren't good at social rules, they learn as you correct them when they are older -somewhere around 4 I seem to remember from eldest.

Make sure your toddler is witnessing you interacting with adults, as well as interacting with you. They need to learn about turn-taking in conversation, which you naturally model when talking to adults.

Don't judge other mums if they seem to talk to their children less. They may do it tonnes at home but feel uncomfortable in public. That's fine! I don't mind chattering away to mine but if never want someone else to feel bad because they didn't like doing it. I guarantee their children will still learn to talk!

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I also think there's a benefit in quiet, and less parental input at times. I have a very chatty 4 year old and obviously I do talk to her a lot, but at the playground I've always let her do her own thing (while obviously helping if necessary, pushing her on the swings, and keeping an eye on if she's climbing something dangerous etc). She wouldn't have really wanted interrupting to hear about the birds flying.

But as I said, I don't think it's at all harmful and I don't think it will lead to constant interrupting. On the way to nursery I'd definitely keep chatting away. It's just my preference to let them explore themselves when they're in a situation where that's possible, like a playground. She doesn't need me to always be involved, and I'd apply that to a 2 year old as well.

I agree with this. When dd has some speech problems the therapist noted within a few minutes of seeing me interacting with dd that it wasn't for lack of interaction but for me there was a time and a place. So the playround is independent, exploring, making friends time not tethered to mother time. Like wewereinparis said there is no harm in what you are doing but lots of parents are more there is a time and a place. Playgrounds, soft play etc wasn't the time or place for me.

Actually I don't think what they are doing is wrong at all, I'm sure they have other ways or moments to interact with their child and it's not my business anyway.

Yes I think that's what I thought as well, I might be slightly overwhelming him and should probably pick my moments.

I talk to DS a lot. Have had conversations with him since he was born ajd he’s a chatty happy little boy who spoke in full sentences from 1.5. But in the playground I want him to focus on having fun and socialising with other kids, not waste his time talking to me. We have all day for that.

I find constantly talking to small children exhausting. Dunno if it’s an introvert thing? It doesn’t come naturally. Drains me. I force myself to do it as much as I can but I probably don’t do it in the park because there’s something else going on then. Walking to the park… yes commentary the whole way. But in the park… no. So just because the other parents weren’t talking to their toddlers there and then didn’t mean they don’t do it often.

And, I don’t think my husband knows the type of rice that goes into a risotto let alone my children. Will put a seminar on next weekend.

I'd say you're either massively overthinking this or you just really need a clap on the back today (which is fine). I don't worry about what other parents at the park are doing and wouldn't let them influence how much I talk to my child.

All the time to my 20 month old. He talks a lot too. He does the same as your son - where if he says something and we don't answer back straight away or something, he'll repeat and repeat!

@ReeseWitherfork I'm very much introverted but I find talking to toddlers way easier and more enjoyable than talking face to face to adults, on the other hand😯

You don't know that the other parents aren't doing this at home and using the time at the playground to have a breather / let their child play with other children.