Lord of the Rings / 5YO - is this horrible judgement?

[Hooplahooping]

I’d really like some crowdsourced input here…

my 5yo DS LOVES monsters. Halloween is his favourite thing, he gets really obsessed with the dragons / wolves / pirates / cyclops etc in all the stories we read. he’s just really in to ‘scary’ things.

he’s watched some cartoons + a few excerpts from movies that have monsters in. He loves them a lot. Doesn’t seem to get phased by them at all and is sleeping fine. Often pops in to find us in the night if he wakes up - but tells me it’s because ‘I woke up and I got lonely so I came to sleep with you + daddy’ - not because he’s scared.

DH has shown him some clips from LOTR - orks / ring wraiths etc when he’s been saying ‘show me something scarierrrrrr’

Am I crazy to think he’d be fine with LOTR movies? He follows an extended narrative well + we would (obviously) be watching it with him. And would definitely be serialising it into 30-40 min chunks.

I feel like he’d be fine. But I’m also very willing to have some sense slapped in to me if my judgement is really off here?

Thing is he'll be fine until he's not. The age designations are there for a purpose. Where are you going to stop? There's a new exorcist out I think? Maybe try him with that.

Oh and I'd judge .

@Forestdweller11 PG probably a bit more entry level than the exorcist. But I take your point!

Flipping heck no way at 5! I can remember my godson coming into the room at around 8/9 years old when it was on and I felt really uncomfortable, his Dad was ok with it but I wasn't. The Orcs etc are really quite revolting. Ring Wraiths just no way

no

stick to the age guidance

I think letting him watch LOTR is fine. It's a fantasy movie with a plot that focuses mostly on men and elves rather than scary monsters. And I wouldn't judge you at all. Though I do judge people who would...

It might well be fine, but I find it hard to see how he would gain positively from it. I don't think he's going to really follow and understand it. He'll enjoy it lots more when he's the right age for it, so I don't really see the rationale for showing it to him now.

We watched the first one again a few weeks ago and I said to my adult daughter that I can't believe it is a PG. Far too scary and confusing for young kids to deal with.

How do you think he'll take it when the orcs fill Boromir with arrows and he mutters his last dying words to Aragorn? My 5 year old wouldn't be all too happy.

And what will you do when his teacher or another parent takes you aside and says he’s terrified the other kids in the class talking about this stuff? How would you like it if I showed him some pictures of something inappropriate and said, oh my five year old really loves this stuff! Wouldn’t be feeling so cool mom then, I bet.

There are a lot of very dark and scary bits in LOTR- Frodo being chased by the black riders, when the black riders stab through the bed thinking the Hobbits are in it, the Ringwraiths on the Hill Top and one catches fire, the chase when Frodo is with Arwen. Christ that's only a few. PLus the plot would go over the head of a 5yo so you'd scare the bejesus out of them and they wouldn't understand it. Watch it again yourself and try and see if through a 5 yos eyes.

Beyond the violence, the adult themes are going to be too much for him. Why expose him to stuff this early? It don’t think it would do him any good to ‘train’ him to accept things he doesn’t fully understand or have the emotional intelligence to put into context

i watched LOTR at 8yo and was terrified. It’s one of my fave film series now.

i’d wait a bit - he’ll love it when he’s older and appreciate that first watch even more

This is helpful guys. I assure you I am the opposite of the cool mum about screen time usually. None of my DCs have much. I think because he reads quite dark stories (a lot of the classic folk stories + greek myths have awful stuff in them that he discusses very dispassionately I maybe get lulled into thinking he would be more ok with it than he could possibly be for a 5yo.

watching things play out on screen is very different to reading about it.

I would wait until he is old enough to understand the story when the books are read to him. Also seeing these classics too young seems a huge shame as to me it will ruin the real enjoyment of seeing them at the right age so you fully understand everything.

School staff quickly learn when children are watching inappropriate film/tv content.
You might need to have a think about this.

My 5 year old would be fine with it; not scared, but she wouldn't follow the story so we wouldn't put it on for her now. I think it'd be a bit of a waste of a good film at this age!

When lotr first came out my youngest was 5 (almost 6 though) and I took her along with her three older siblings. She would have been traumatised by missing out if we hadn't taken her. We were living overseas and the film was rated a 'g' which was 'general-suitable for all' where we lived.

She was enthralled by the film and didn't find it too scary. My kids have all grown up as big LOTR fans.
I was strict about ratings and was generally carefully about what I exposed my kids to but felt that the first lotr movie was ok.

The Fellowship of the Ring is a PG, so the OP wouldn’t be breaking guidance which is not binding at home anyway.

I went to see it in the cinema when it came out, I was a bit older than 5 but not much- I found one bit mildly scary, but I remember being a bit bored and thinking it was too long.

If you think he’ll like it then show it to him. If he doesn’t like it you can turn it off!

Speaking as an adult who effectively WAS your child - in that I always wanted to watch "something scarier", if your DS has already seen bits of it and is fine with it, and he wants to watch it, then I see nothing wrong with letting him watch it.

There is a culture these days of not letting kids watch ANYTHING that they might find remotely scary, but to me, it's part and parcel of growing up. I was TERRIFIED of the witch in the Wizard of Oz as a child - but I still LOVED watching it and going through the scary experience - which of course became less-so as I got older. The key is whether it's "manageable" scary - ie. within a suitable range where effects can be explained or your DS can experience a little bit of "scary" without it being too extreme. It's like people who enjoy going on thrill-rides at a theme park - it's "fun-scary".

People who are into scary literature, films etc... and usually grow up to enjoy the horror genre are generally more able to cope with scarier films at a younger age. Some people can't watch scary films no matter how old they are - and what is "scary" can be quite subjective, which is why I think age ratings are more like guidelines. If you, as your DS' parent, believe he will be able to cope with LOTR (it is a fantasy film that is all "effects") and he will enjoy it then give it a go. If it appears to be getting too much or he's not enjoying it - turn it off. Yeah - he may not follow some of the storyline, but there were plenty films I loved watching as a kid where parts of the story went over my head. Didn't stop me enjoying them.

As a kid I was denied being allowed to watch Jaws for years (it's so tame now - but at the time it was a big deal - I begged to watch it) - but I snuck the novel off my grandmother's bookshelf every time we visited and read it over and over - with my main focus being on the most scary bits! LOL! Didn't give me nightmares or anything like it - I've never had nightmares from scary books or films.

It sounds like your DS has found his preferred "genre". Of course it doesn't mean he should be watching major horror films etc... he will possibly gravitate towards those as he gets older and is ready for them - but something like LOTR is "manageable" for his age I think. Take his interest in the more scary stuff in gradual steps and help him enjoy it safely.

thank you for this - completely chimes with my thoughts

There is a LOTR cartoon from years ago that I remember watching as a child. Maybe give that a try?

You don't know what affect it could have later though. Someone mentioned jaws - my DB loved those films and watched them over and over. As an adult, he has a huge fear of sharks and won't go anywhere a shark has ever been spotted - also keeps up to date on shark attacks in the world. I have Thalassaphobia, and I barely watched it.

There's so much in it it wouldn't understand. seems a waste of a film he could really enjoy in 3 years time iyswim!

I watched Alien when I was 8 (older sister let me...). Things often aren't all that scary when you are little because you can't imagine yourself in that situation. But I do remember finding the vast majority of the film very boring and a few bits just quite icky and I couldn't see why anyone would make a film like that.