Help!
I have 2 beautiful children, a 4yo and a 6mo both got different dads. I co-parent with my 4yo dad brilliantly, very amicable, never had any issues with him, we’ve always put child’s needs first. He seems him regularly as we live close to each other and we share birthdays/Christmases etc.
My 6mo dad is a completely different situation. He’s a narcissist and left me for another woman when I was 7 months pregnant, he wasn’t present when I gave birth. I forgave him when the baby was first born for the sake of the family and he met the baby when he was 2 weeks old but found out he was still seeing the same woman. He hasn’t seen the baby nor asked to see him since - he’s only asked how he is a handful of times.
When we split the second time when the baby was 2 weeks old he took the baby’s pram, car seat and everything he payed for because he said he payed for it. He also tried to take the baby. He threatened to not pay child maintenance so I went straight to CMS so now he has to pay.
I refused mediation as there was many concerns for his MH so now he has taken me to court. I have agreed on a 2 hour a week visitation centre for the first 4 weeks for him to see his son and build some sort of bond/relationship. I will be present also as I’m the babies only primary attachment figure. He’s asked for his mum to join too but I’m going to refuse as I’m unsure why she wants to come, he should be wanting to bond with his son first.
He’s not currently on the birth certificate but has asked to be added and he also wants to double barrel his surname.
I’ve received a form off him basically saying moving forward he wants to see his son 2 hrs a week for 4 weeks in a visitation centre (outlined above) he then wants to do 5 hrs a week for 4 weeks then 10-5 one day a week for 4 weeks then start overnights? I don’t see why he can’t just concentrate on building a relationship with our son to begin with which to me could take months. This means my baby will see him once a week for 3 months then start staying overnight with him 2 hrs away. He’s also stated he wants to have his son in line with his shift pattern but I go back to work soon (on mat leave) so surely it would be something to suit us both not just his shifts? When I’m working I need to find childcare so surely so does he.
We’ve got a final decision hearing soon but I’m just wondering if anyone else has been through something like this? And what did the courts say?
My 4yo dad has set days on seeing his son and my idea was for their dads to have them the same days but still not for a while. I don’t want to separate the boys hence why I was thinking the same days otherwise they’d struggle to see each other.
Thanks in advance!