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Original poster

Child benefit

18 replies

Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:11

My husband has a 12 year old, she is 50/50 shared care and he claimed child benefit up until she was 6 when her mum asked to take it over, which he allowed. Now she is 12 he is asking for it back and she's refusing to. Things have been fine between them up until when he asked for it back, so he asked if she could give him half of the money. She's refused.

It's a difficult one because ultimately, the child is in equal 50/50 care, with no input from the court ever. Neither parent has ever paid child maintenance when one parent has been in receipt of the benefit, due to the child being shared equally.

What are peoples thoughts on this??

I do think it's unfair the mother isn't cooperating when my husband was happy to cooperate when she asked for it.

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 06/10/2023 12:13

Can she afford to not receive it?

why has he asked for it back? If it’s because of the increase cost of living then she’ll be facing the same increases so probably not as simple to just change it over.

Needmorelego · 06/10/2023 12:13

It's £90 a month. If they split it that's £45 each.
Unless he is really really really struggling for money is it worth making the situation bad for that.

Original poster
Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:31

I know you shouldn't look at it this way but we don't live a very flash lifestyle or go on 3 holidays abroad every year, we don't smoke or drink, we do have a mortgage... all this is the opposite to her lifestyle/circumstances. So I'm pretty sure she's not feeling the cost of living crisis like we are.
We both work full time. She and her partner both work full time.
I just thought it would be straight forward to hand it over or hand half of it over at least!

OP posts:

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Hermittrismegistus · 06/10/2023 12:39

But why is he suddenly asking for it?

Original poster
Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:48

Because he's been paying for everything like school lunches, uniform, trips etc. We had to cut back quite a lot, not been able to afford a holiday this year and she's on her third (without the daughter), it's difficult because the cost of living doesn't seem to be effecting her so much. We can't assume but on the face of it, we do look like the ones who could do with the extra. I know it's not much, but it helps.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:50

And he's suddenly asking for it because he's realised he's entitled to half as he has the daughter half.

He claimed it for 6 years. She's claimed it for 6 years. Now what?

OP posts:
mynumber · 06/10/2023 12:52

So he had six years of it and then mum got six years of it? So that's even so far then?
Does he want it to be his turn going forward or does he want back pay?
If all cost are shared equally ie. Clothes, shoes, school uniform, bikes, pocket money etc then going forward to child benefit should be shared equally.

Original poster
Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:58

He asked for it back, but when she refused he then asked for half and she's still refused.
We're footing the cost of school uniforms, trips, lunches.
It's a shame because things have been fine until now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carina82 · 06/10/2023 13:00

He doesn't want back pay. He just wants half going forward.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 06/10/2023 13:04

Perhaps he could request it for a specific reason such as paying for dd's holiday, might make her more willing to negotiate. Pointing out that she hasn't taken her dd on holiday, and it's a justifiable use.

sllortynamos · 06/10/2023 13:31

When you say he's paying for everything like trips, lunches etc...is he paying more than half of all costs? If so, why? How did that happen?

Myneighboursarewankers · 06/10/2023 13:34

He’s not entitled to anything the money is for the child not the parents. Can’t it be paid into a bank account in the child’s name and either party can take child related expenses from there?

caerdydd12 · 06/10/2023 13:40

If he wants it his only option is to put a claim in for it with HMRC. She will be notified and if she disagrees she phoned HMRC and says no. HMRC will then complete an investigation and make a determination into who is eligible.

cocksstrideintheevening · 06/10/2023 13:42

Carina82 · 06/10/2023 12:58

He asked for it back, but when she refused he then asked for half and she's still refused.
We're footing the cost of school uniforms, trips, lunches.
It's a shame because things have been fine until now.

is he paying 50% or 100% of those costs - lunches / uniforms etc?

Hermittrismegistus · 06/10/2023 13:46

Can’t it be paid into a bank account in the child’s name and either party can take child related expenses from there?

This ^ sounds like a good way forward.

Terfosaurus · 06/10/2023 13:47

Myneighboursarewankers · 06/10/2023 13:34

He’s not entitled to anything the money is for the child not the parents. Can’t it be paid into a bank account in the child’s name and either party can take child related expenses from there?

Surely there'll be nothing to stop one parent spending it all every month though?

Needmorelego · 06/10/2023 14:00

@Carina82 from your follow up then maybe he should ask for it (or at least half). Or stop buying school uniforms etc and she buys them.

Universalsnail · 06/10/2023 16:21

Who has the higher income? I think whoever has the lower income should claim it.

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