Bedtime for a 10 month old?

[Daisysimply]

My little girl has just turned 10 months and for the past few weeks we have struggled to get her down for bed much before 9pm. Most nights it’s more towards 10-11pm which to me seems way too late but that’s just how it seems to work with her naps. She has been waking up between 8-9am which is great as I get to have a bit of a lie in after a crap night sleep (she sleeps terribly at night) but means the whole day is just put back. She goes down for her first nap about 11 then her second nap is about 4/5. She has between 1-2 hour sleep for each nap. My question is am I doing her routine right? I know all babies are different but I just feel she should not be going to bed so late everyone else seems to put the baby to bed at 7/8pm and I feel like I’m doing something wrong for not following this (first time parent if you couldn’t tell!)

Sounds like her bedtime and morning are a couple of hours out. If you want a 7pm bedtime, you might have to wake her at 7am I’m afraid!
Her naps at that ages should roughly follow the 2,3,4 pattern. First nap 2 hrs after wake up, second nap 3 hrs after the first nap and then have her awake for 4 hrs before bedtime so she is nice and tired. Good bath and bed routine so she has all those sleep cues too. Good naps and being nice and full from 3 meals/ milk should hopefully help her sleep better at night. I found that at 10 months in this sort of routine and with 3 meals my baby started to sleep much better. Of course they’re all different and you know her wake windows etc best!! Xx

Could you go for 8am till 8pm?

Agree with What. I'd try for the first nap at 10 (if you don't go to any groups]) and the second nap at 1pm and 3 meals a day.

If her sleep is terrible at night, have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?

Thank you for the advice, it’s much appreciated! How long roughly should the naps be? I usually do first nap 2 1/2 hours after wake up then I’ll do 3 1/2 hours till second nap then 3 1/2 - 4 hours before bed. She gets so tired and grumpy by evening time tho so I’ll have to make some adjustments. She’s not a massive fan of food so hopefully as that improves her sleep will to xx

Those wake windows sound ok but everything needs to be shifted earlier for her to go to bed earlier. Gradually make adjustments by 10–15 mins per day. So tomorrow, if she’s usually wake at 9am then wake her up by 8:45. Then the next day 8:30 and so on. And gradually shift the naps earlier too.

My nine month old does 6.30am wake, 9am nap capped at 30 mins, 1pm nap capped at 1hr45m, asleep by 6.30pm. We’ve tried shifting him onto 7-7 and he’s not interested! Lots of experimenting around how much daytime sleep he needed and how to space it out so he doesn’t go to bed over or undertired. It’s easier to get naps and everything “right” if you wake them at the same time each day. And agree with PP that if she’s lying in till 8/9am of course she won’t want to go to bed till later! Which is fine if that works for you, but it is useful to set their morning to work with yours for work, nursery, commute.

Yes, wake windows sound good. At this age, you might want to cap the morning nap (45 mins maybe?) to encourage a longer afternoon one (2 hours max). Don’t let her sleep past 3:30/4 if you want a 7pm bedtime. But again, this doesn’t suit all babies. Try not to let her get overtired at bedtime as this can make it harder to settle to sleep in my experience, but if you have a regular routine you can rush through when they’re tired or skip the bath and it’s ok to put them to bed 20/30mins either side of 7pm.
As for food, she will get there. Having a regular mealtimes routine around the naps will help. So breakfast soon after wake up (before offering breast/bottle ideally) and then lunch before the 1pm nap and tea time around 4/5pm. I found weaning a bit slow going too, so I reduced the amount I offered at milk feeds. Also carbs in the evening to fill them up helps! Little pre bed snack if necessary. And if there is food they like and you know will fill them, give this later in the day so they’re full at bedtime. Lunchtime you can be a bit more experimental with food offering perhaps? Good luck!

This thread also reminds me of some great advice my sister gave me - however disturbed the night was, just get the kids up for 7am and start the day as you mean to go on! This is mainly helpful for when you’re back at work or go from one to two kids. But it’s true, you can always do your catching up on sleep during their naps or by going to bed early. Which reminds me, it’s nearly my bedtime (9/9:30pm lol!)

I think if it works for your family then it's fine, many other countries don't have such early bedtimes for children.

But if you want earlier bed times start waking her up like 15 mins earlier for a few days then another 15mins etc until you get to the wake up/bedtime you want.

It's completely normal for babies to have different sleep patterns, and there's no one-size-fits-all routine. Your baby's sleep schedule might be a bit later than some, but if she's getting enough total sleep during the day and night, it can still be perfectly fine. The key is to ensure she's well-rested overall.
One thing you might consider is gradually shifting her bedtime earlier by 15 minutes each night until it reaches a time that feels more comfortable for you and fits her sleep needs. This can help you both get more restful nights.
Additionally, creating a calming bedtime routine with activities like reading a book or playing soothing lullabies from this YouTube channel might help signal to her that it's time to wind down https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGcBY5dT5cA4xajW8A_v1rQ?sub_confirmation=1.
Remember, as a first-time parent, there's a learning curve, and it's okay to adjust routines to suit your baby's unique needs. What's most important is that she's getting enough sleep overall and that both of you are comfortable with the routine.
Best wishes to you and your little one! 🌙💤