Losing temper with kids :-(

[Louise0309]

Hi all,

I’m wondering if anyone had successful overcome issues with losing their temper? And just generally struggling with motherhood?

I have 2 children DS8 and DD2 (bs recently diagnosed with adhd) they are both very energetic kids and I literally feel like at the moment I’m doing the minimum and it’s killing me!

Im on my own with them all week as my partner works long hours. Im finding myself really losing my temper with them and really shouting at them. I’ve always had a bed temper but it’s getting worse. I want to be better and overcome this. If I’m honest I just really don’t enjoy motherhood, there are some beautiful moments but mostly I really struggle. I don’t have any family near by so that doesn’t help.

Im just looking for some suggestions. I love my children desperately and want to be better for them.

I tried antidepressants (sertraline 50mg) last year but it didn’t do much.

Any suggestions would really help.

Thank you x

Go back to gp
Get some cbt or other and learn strategies to calm eg count to 10 before you speak/shout
Talk to hv about classes for you. On parenting strategies.
put 2 yr old in nursery
Get some paid help
Do something for you each week pay a baby sitter or childminder yoga pilates running

Re two year old agree with pp do you have a childrens centre with free toddler classes? Takes the pressure off you a bit, and you may meet other similar mums.

So the older one is in school, and I’d put the 2 year old in nursery. See the GP again, and ask the SN/HV fir some parenting tips/courses.

My two year old drives me mad regularly he insisted on coming in the shower with me this morning then had a tantrum when I stood under the water

Just personally I find positive affirmations really helpful. I tell myself I love my child (of course I do but when his behaviour is driving me to the brink I need to tell myself this!) I am a calm person, it is not an emergency, he is just being 2, etc.

You probably already do this but we’re loads better when we’re out of the house as well.

You need a break. Nobody (IMO) can parent on their own 24/7 and stay sane. Can you use a childminder/nursery for a morning or two? Even if just for the youngest. TBH even if work just pays for childcare I think it’s worth it if that’s an option.

Also as others have said, get to a playgroup or similar everyday.

Also! Use headphones. I play something calm and it helps to regulate me.

it is really really hard and you have done the best thing by realising you need a hand.
i just want to say you are not alone and many women feel like this, a lot of people won't admit it. it's really hard but learning some coping mechanisms is defo the way forward.