How can we move forward? Tears with potter training fail

[Helpneeded321]

Hi everyone.

I’m in the very long process of potty training my first DC - DS is 2 years 10 months old. Turns 3 in December.

We started about 4 months ago because he seemed keen on the potty. He quickly nailed wee and poo on the potty, but ONLY if he is completely naked from the wait down.

If he has anything on the bottom half, he just completely forgets about the potty every.single.time. We’ve tried pants, loose pants, loose shorts, just trousers. But we’ve never had a successful wee or poo when he has some form of clothing on the bottom half.

It is becoming absolutely soul destroying.

He very definitely knows he needs to go, because when naked he’ll shout ‘I NEED THE POTTY!!’ And run around until he finds it and does his business no problems.

We’ve also tried all the bribes - special pants, sticker charts, chocolate buttons. Nothing motivates him.

What on earth can I do? What is the next step?

I cried at soft play this morning because there was poo everywhere. And vowed to stop until after he turns 3.

thank you!

After 4 months of not cracking it with clothing on, I'd put him back in nappies for a bit. He's tantalisingly close – but for some reason he's not quite ready.

Keep the potty available, keep encouraging him to use it (and tell you when he needs it), also build it into his routine at certain times of the day (on getting up, before bed, maybe before going out), but take the stress out of it for both of you for a bit and just use nappies.

Another vote for back in nappies. My daughter started withholding when we tried (turns out it was a sensory thing) so it got v traumatic. We just took a break before we tried again. Your child will definitely get there (assuming no special needs that might impact), don’t worry.

For whatever reason, he isn't ready. Back in nappies for a bit. It shouldn't be that hard.

There's no wrong answer here, other than try to avoid being upset/applying pressure.

It might work to go back to nappies for a bit and try again when is a bit older.

Equally you could persist. My boys have been taking a lot longer to master potty training that their big sister did. Trousers are definitely an issue! We're 6 months into potty training and we still have accidents, whereas DD was dry day and night after 3months. Some children take longer than others, and that's totally ok. They all get there in the end. Some just make you do LOTS of washing in the meantime 😫