Do you co parent and use a nursery

[Rosiekate1]

If you co parent, how many days per week do you send your LO to nursery?

DS already sees me (mum) less due to co parenting. He sees his dad every Tues/ Wed and alternate weekends.

I have just started sending DS to nursery 1.5 days per week (on my days) to allow me to work an extra day. DS has been there 6 weeks and is not settling well at all. Crying at drop off and collection. Often upset in the day, red faced on photos, and cries himself to sleep on the afternoon sessions, tells me he doesn't want to go (woke up the other morning and it was the first thing he said to me as he sat up)

It's difficult for DS as he already goes between two households (has done since 6 months old), so I feel the transition to nursery is even harder for him.

I plan on dropping his half day afternoon session as I feel he is not benefiting from this, and it just causes him so much distress (running away from the door, tears rolling down his face, and not settling when he is there) I won't be working on this day. I used it as a chance for him to be there more often to help him settle. I have requested to drop this day, which the nursery have accepted but they have recommended 2 days will be better for him to settle. I understand this and if DS was with mum and dad all the time in a normal home set up, this would be perfectly ok, but he goes between homes.

So it made me think what do other people in my situation do? If you co parent and your LO is a toddler, how do you manage nursery? He will be at school eventually but he is only 2 and a half at the moment and I wonder if it's all too much for him at this young age.

I'd like to add, ExH not likely to be willing to give up his days with DS to attend a nursery of my choice. ExH wants to said him to a nursery near him when he turns 3.

My kids used to go to nursery 4 Dpw (I didn’t work on the 5th day) as I work 4 days, so didn’t really have any choice but to send them to nursery. They stay at my ex’s Tues and Weds so he would deal with drop off /pick ups on his days and me on my days. They are older now and at school.

Thanks for your reply. So did you see them weekends as well? So 3 days per week?
That's great your Ex agreed on the nursery and would do drop offs and pick ups too. That makes it easier!

I left him when one child was 3 and one was 6 months, then I went back to work when the youngest was 1. The arrangement we have (an “informal” arrangement - but it has been in place for about 9 years now), is that the children stay at his house on Tuesdays and .Wednesdays every week and that never changes without good reason/ advanced notice. Weekends… more flex. The children used to go most Saturdays mid afternoon and Id collect them Sunday, but now they are old enough to choose they sometimes go, sometimes don’t.
My ex and I don’t get on.
This arrangement meant our paths didn’t need to cross at nursery / school gate. Weekend handovers were stressful.
All this was hard for all parties in the early days but we all got used to it and it works well.