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5 month old girl - Sleeps between 23:00 and 04:00 but awake the rest of the day.

12 replies

Deidara · 04/10/2023 21:14

Hi all,

I'm the dad in our family, I have an almost 3 year old boy, and a 5 month old girl. Our family style is that I put my son to bed and my wife puts our daughter to bed due to convenience for both of us with our schedules and my daughter is very clingy to my wife.

My daughter's typical day regarding being awake or asleep is that she sleeps most nights continuously from midnight to 04:00am, apart from that she's awake the rest of the day. My wife is finding it difficult while I'm at work this time as my son would nap a few times throughout the day and was a very easy baby to take care of as he was quite happy doing anything... whereas my daughter is the complete opposite.

My daughter is very alert, and seems to be someone who doesn't want to miss a single thing that is going on throughout the day. It is very difficult to encourage her to take naps and if she does shut her eyes - any slight movement and she'll wake back up, she wants to be carried around all day by my wife and if she's put down anywhere she cries.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips that could make things easier for my wife during the day with a baby that just will not nap or want to be put down in a chair or on an activity mat, etc.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DustyLee123 · 05/10/2023 07:19

So she only sleeps 4 hours in 24 hours ? She has no naps at all ? I’d be contacting the HV and GP about that.

hateherfordying · 05/10/2023 07:21

I feel the exact opposite! That is a good solid night time sleep ,and none of mine would have done that. I would be happy with that

GunboatDiplomacy · 05/10/2023 07:29

From a parenting point of view you obviously need to tag-team the nights: one of you goes to bed at 9 and wakes up at 4, and one of you stays up to midnight to manage your DD and wakes up at 7. That's easy enough, and you'll both get plenty of uninterrupted sleep to face the day - many parents would kill for that.

But 4 hours sleep a day isn't nearly enough for a 5 month old baby, and I'd also take her to the GP.

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User69611 · 05/10/2023 07:44

That sounds very exhausting! Does your wife look after your toddler all day too or are there any days of nursery? Was thinking baby sounds very alert and maybe overstimulated, maybe would be easier to get her asleep in a dark room (in the sling?), white noise on etc.? Does she ever sleep in the pram?

prestonlass · 05/10/2023 07:57

Just wondering when you say she won't nap, does that mean she won't independently fall asleep if put down or she never falls asleep during feeding/in a carrier/in the pram? Both of my kids (3yo and 8mo) were/are super alert/easily stimulated and the 8mo needs a solid 20 mins or more of breastfeeding or carrying in a sling to fall asleep, even longer in the evenings (I usually hold him and feed on and off for an hour or so watching Netflix after the 3yo is in bed and only put him down when I go to bed around 10). Not restful for your wife of course (yep, I have also spent the last 8 months utterly exhausted!) but if she can be fed to sleep that does at least allow some lying down time!

MilesAndMilesOfLights · 05/10/2023 10:18

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FallingAutumnLeaf · 05/10/2023 10:34

I would get a sling, and a GP visit/HV referal if there are literally only those 4-5 hours of sleep in 24 hours.

My oldest was a sleep dodger, but even he would nap for 30 mins a couple of times a day in the sling. The overnight stretch is decent, but she need much more sleep over a 24 hour period.

Costalife · 05/10/2023 11:20

I feel the exact opposite! That is a good solid night time sleep ,and none of mine would have done that. I would be happy with that

Really? You'd be happy if your five month old slept 4 hours in 24?

YokoOnosBigHat · 05/10/2023 13:29

This sounds like my now 8yr old. She still doesn't need much sleep (about six hours a night- she's been like this since she was six months old when she dropped all naps).

I did take her to the GP when she was about six months old, they just said that if she was otherwise happy and hitting her milestones then it was fine. Things improved when she was about a year and would "play" more with toys etc. Until then I would take her for lots of walks in the buggy etc. it sucks, not much you can do unfortunately.

If it helps my daughter is a very engaging and bright kid, so you've got that to look forward to.

Deidara · 05/10/2023 20:00

Thank you for the replies!

From yesterday evening till now, my daughter went to bed (note: she also has a white noise sheep thats by her cot) at about 19:00 with a bottle last night, woke up around 19:30 and we rocked her back to sleep (took about 15 mins), she woke up again around 22:00 and luckily she fell back to sleep after letting out some wind. She woke up around 02:00 and had milk but even after finishing the bottle she wouldn't go back to sleep till about 04:00 when she fell asleep again. I then left for work around 04:30.

My wife had to get our son ready for nursery so they all woke up at 07:00 the alarm we have set. So from 07:00 till the current time of writing this (19:25) she's had 30 minutes sleep in those roughly 12 hours. Again my wife said she's just had to keep carrying her nearly the entire time. I'm a truck driver so I help out at every point I can but with the nature of the job it's long hours, early starts and late finishes.

To answer a few questions: During the day when she has her feeds she might fall asleep with one of them if we're lucky - and even then if she does fall asleep, like I mentioned before, any slight noise and she wakes up and that's it then, she won't close her eyes again.

As for when we try to get her to take a nap, it's never independent, she is on either myself or my wife when we try, we try rocking her, she has her bottle if she's hungry, we gently bob her up and down a little (this used to be the perfect thing to get our son to nap), we close the curtains in the day and try to keep it dark and quiet, but she just wants to look around and if you try to keep anything from stimulating her she then starts to get upset.

Out on walks she is always looking around and I think she has only slept a handful of times whilst we have been on walks. She goes with my son to our local village hall for a children's event every Monday and my wife has to hold her there as she cries with anybody else.

She does sleep on car journeys but it's only when the car is moving, when you come to a stop she will likely wake up crying and she'll fall asleep again when we start moving again.

I have no worries about her development at all, she seems bright as a button, same with my son - he's 2 years old and can already use the toilet on his own, flush and wash his hands independently. He's crazy about cars and can tell me the make and model of all the hotwheels cars he has, if I show him a picture - for example the Mercedes-Benz logo, he tells me what it is and he'll show me every car on a page that has the same logo amongst cars from other manufacturers. My daughter was already rolling over onto her stomach and looking up and around at 4 months so she's showing signs that she's a quick learner and that she'll be bright and fine in the future - it's just the lack of sleep and naps that's concerning us.

I'm immensely proud of them both and especially my wife for what she does every day when I can't be there, I don't want anyone to think I'm moaning or being dramatic, I know we're luckier than most that they both sleep a decent amount through the night. My daughter is just the complete opposite to how our son was at that age, and like I said my wife and I have no worries about her development but we're just concerned about the sleep in a 24hr period.

Apologies for the long reply and I really appreciate you taking the time to give your tips!

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MilesAndMilesOfLights · 05/10/2023 23:00

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MumO7 · 06/10/2023 12:29

It sounds like your daughter is quite alert and active during the day, which can be challenging for your wife. One thing you might consider is introducing some soothing music or lullabies to create a more calming environment for your daughter. I recently came across this YouTube channel with a lovely collection of children's songs and lullabies that might help soothe her https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGcBY5dT5cA4xajW8A_v1rQ?sub_confirmation=1
Additionally, trying different baby-wearing options like a baby carrier might allow your wife to keep your daughter close while having her hands free for other tasks. Remember, every baby is unique, and it might take some trial and error to find what works best for your daughter's sleep and comfort.
Best wishes to you and your family! 🌙💤

Before you continue to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGcBY5dT5cA4xajW8A_v1rQ?sub_confirmation=1

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