Mum guilt when staying at home

[Mumguilt23]

I feel like a really bad parent right now. I have a medical condition that sometimes makes me feel so wiped out and I am really struggling at the moment. I'm a stay at home mum and we do a lot usually but recently my 2 year has been such a tv head and I feel awful. We have toys, playdough, garden but I just don't have the energy to be fun mum right now. Grandparents work and usually only want fun times when it suits. Not really sure why I'm making a thread but I've been on the verge of tears for ages now and I wish I was a better mum 😔

Could he go to pre school a couple of mornings/afternoons allowing you to rest?

I was also going to suggest a few half days at preschool or nursery, give you a break and give little one some socialising and learning.

You're not a bad Mum OP! I've had similar recently, although my feeling unwell was due to being pregnant again. But DS and I used to do so much and it got to a point where I couldn't leave the house and relied on the TV probably a lot more than is recommended.

But that's life sometimes. My toddler adapted pretty well tbh and now I'm coming out the other side and we're starting to do a bit more again, albeit I'm a lot slower and less agile than before.

As PPs have said, pre-school sessions could offer you a few hours respite on a regular basis, or can you sit and supervise some play at home without going all out? So even if you're not leaving the house you're still encouraging play without the TV.

I used to set up my son's building blocks and he'd spend hours just building things. I'd sit on a cushion on the floor next to him and just talk to him and build some things too or help him when he needed it.

Hope you feel better soon x

I have long term health issues and my son now at 11 has a sofa ridden mum relying on others to do the proper caring. I can't offer alot but I know it's still alot. I feel guilty and sorry for myself really as I have loved doing so much for him. I think these feelings are typical in this situation. You just feel useless even though you aren't.

Can you afford to use a childminder a few days or afternoons a week? Someone who has a few kids the same age already? You've done amazing getting through 2 years as a SAHM with health issues.

The minute I stopped caring so much about screen time and gaming etc everything was so much easier. I really don't believe you're causing any long term damage at all. The childcare suggestion is for your benefit so you can truly rest and not feel guilty ❤️

Try not to worry. My eldest had a month where she watched a LOT of TV while we were waiting for her to have an operation and couldn't risk her being ill. My mother was watching her as she couldn't go to nursery, but wasn't feeling up to doing much with her. Did her no harm whatsoever. Lockdown when she was 3 - DH and I were attempting to teach remotely so often had to stick her in front of TV (her preschool was closed). Honestly very little effect from that either other than in the short term when everything reopened.

I wouldn't recommend excessiv escreens in the long run, but toddlers are quite open to changing routines.