3yo always running off - please help

[mummy2tired]

My 3yo DS runs off frequently when we are out. He knows the number 1 rule in our family is don't run away and can recite the number 1 rule whenever asked but he seems to take absolutely no notice of it. I try and set very reasonable boundaries when we are out eg stay within sight of me (in parks etc)and he is generally pretty good but sometimes he just seems to completely forget. I am at my wits end and really worried that something will happen. We had a big scare in a shopping centre recently, he was right behind me in an open area coffee shop playing with some toys and then he just disappeared. He also got scared but a few days later he ran off again. A friend suggested using a book about a child running away as a guide for discussion and consequences. Does anyone know of any book that would be useful? Does anyone have any other useful advice please?

I don't have any useful suggestions, but I will say that it is definately just a phase and one that usually ends fairly quickly. My DS1 was a big runner offer at 3, and certainly wasn't doing it by 4 or 5.

Yes that is what I am hoping but it is a horribly stressful phase (for me ) to go through. It has been going on a good few months now.

my 3.5 yrs old DD always runs off....very rare holds my hand but i do blackmail her quite often saying that i will put her reins on!! but it works for me!!

I know they get bad press on here, but reins or a wrist strap do help until they get past this stage.

I'm all for reins and wrist straps, but perhaps even better for older toddlers is one of these www.bumpto3.com/product.aspx?DISPLAYCAT=safety&CAT=Products&CATGRY=safety&PID=JF222 He can carry around his toys/lunch/colouring too which makes it extra useful.

Yes I did buy a wrist strap and it was like leading gollum around with the elvish rope attached. He won that battle then!
I have a 6 month old and have a cord on the stroller that he holds onto when I am walking somewhere with both of them, which he is happy to do. The problem is when we stop and he is allowed to play a bit he just goes mad running around all over the place (chasing birds, balls, other kids anything that catches his attention)and it seems that if I take my eyes off of him for a second he disappears. He has no fear at all.

well the other option that is that you give him a warning and you must carry it out too....even if you are in the middle of shopping, you must return back home.

That is what happened today we came home and he went to his room until I felt like seeing him again. We talk about what happened, why he ran off, why I was cross, what could have happened and he seems genuine in not doing it again. But I know it won't stop there.

Please excuse me for about 8 hours, it is after 11pm and I need to go to bed , see you all in the morning.

ds has one of these which, whilst fulfilling the same function as reins, is not a pair of reins.

It's a backpack, so they can put their own little toys or things in there, and the strap is detachable, so if he is somewhere completely safe, he can run off a bit and if I need to keep him closer to me, I can clip the strap back on and he can't go very far.

It has been completely invaluable to me, as he refuses to hold my hand and runs away from me at every available opportunity.

The problem is that, at 3, he can seem to understand the issue, and agree that he was wrong, and promise not to do it again... but when the time comes, he won't think of any of that at all, and will do what he feels like. They have no sense of danger, and a short attention span at that age. The only real options are to have something which physically prevents him, or teach him to understand X is always followed very quickly by Y - as biglips says, one warning, and immediate "punishment". He'll then learn that running off is not fun.