Fussy eaters

jessi1983 · 2023-10-03T19:00:52+00:00

My 2 boys are 5 and 2, they are such fussy eaters...if they could they would eat fish fingers and chips every night for dinner!! I'm at my wits end with them, I try making them something nutritious for dinner and they will take one look at it and turn their noses up. Tonight I made a creamy cheesy carrot orzo dish...they looked at it and wouldn't try it. I try hidden veg sauce, they won't eat it. Jacket potatoes a won't eat it! What do I do? I'm struggling and it makes me angry! I'm literally so tempted to just give them toast every night - saves my money and my time making them something they won't eat! Do I just keep offering them home cooked meals and their fault if they don't eat it? Or do I give in and just give them toast knowing there's no nutritional value to anything they're eating?!

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Set a reminder

Arsebollock · 03/10/2023 20:04

You need a safe food with each meal.

I would have served your orzo dish with a side of fish fingers, for example.

If they don’t eat their dinner, take it away. When they are hungry again, reheat it and offer again. If they want anything else, you say ‘that isn’t on the menu’ but offer something like porridge so they do have a filling supper.

repeat.

But you really do need to offer something that is safe, be that berries or nuggets or toast.

put everything in the middle buffet style, let them serve themselves.

don’t turn it into a battle. ‘That isn’t on the menu’- offer meal again.

Stripeypyjamas · 03/10/2023 20:04

Keep offering. I once read it takes 12 times of offering to get them to try it. And that's just one food type.

Do they eat afternoon snacks? I find that can ruin dinner appetites, or too much milk/smoothies.

Worst comes to the worst I whip out my phone and have a conversation with whatever superhero they like and learn that, shock horror, captain America's favourite dish is carrot orzo! Who would have known that!?

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 20:14

Absolutely no advice but many sympathies. My 5yo's eating has always been a huge source of stress and my almost-2 yo used to be a fantastic eater, but has now started copying his sister and becoming increasingly fussy which is so frustrating.

jl421 · 03/10/2023 20:27

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 20:14

Absolutely no advice but many sympathies. My 5yo's eating has always been a huge source of stress and my almost-2 yo used to be a fantastic eater, but has now started copying his sister and becoming increasingly fussy which is so frustrating.

Yes I'm pretty sure my 2 year old is just copying his brother, it's so frustrating.
I know he eats all sorts of weird and wonderful food at nursery!

jl421 · 03/10/2023 20:29

Arsebollock · 03/10/2023 20:04

You need a safe food with each meal.

I would have served your orzo dish with a side of fish fingers, for example.

If they don’t eat their dinner, take it away. When they are hungry again, reheat it and offer again. If they want anything else, you say ‘that isn’t on the menu’ but offer something like porridge so they do have a filling supper.

repeat.

But you really do need to offer something that is safe, be that berries or nuggets or toast.

put everything in the middle buffet style, let them serve themselves.

don’t turn it into a battle. ‘That isn’t on the menu’- offer meal again.

I get the safe food suggestion but then surely they just eat that, and not the actual meal you've put effort into.
I like the superhero idea though, might try that one!

Arsebollock · 03/10/2023 20:32

jl421 · 03/10/2023 20:29

I get the safe food suggestion but then surely they just eat that, and not the actual meal you've put effort into.
I like the superhero idea though, might try that one!

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You need to reframe you’re thinking of how you have ‘put effort into food’- it’s not personal. This is what turns food into a battlefield.

fussy eaters need a safe food. If that’s all they eat for the first few meals, persist. It doesn’t always have to be a beige fish finger- it could be cucumber, blueberries, mashed potato, whatever.

you have the best chance eventually of them accepting and trying something new, if it’s a gentle transition.

You can’t be pretending to talk to superheroes when they are eight.

NuffSaidSam · 03/10/2023 20:34

Fishfingers are not nutritionally void, so if you're going to offer just one food I'd make it fishfingers and not toast.

As pp said, keep one safe food but present with new foods. So I'd probably try fishfingers with any veg they like and mash/roast potatoes/homemade chips/rice/pasta etc. I'd work on the carb.

On a different day I'd offer chips with chicken goujons/breaded chicken (and any veg they'll eat). I'd also try fishfingers made with other fish. Or cod without breadcrumbs.

Move it slowly, just one step away from what they already eat. Push the boundaries gently. You'll also probably have more success if the food is separate rather than mixed.

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 20:53

The thing is, safe food suggestions never work for my DC because there are none. She changed what she eats from one month to the next, one day she loves something next time she says she doesnt like it. There is nothing that she will reliably eat.

NuffSaidSam · 03/10/2023 21:02

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 20:53

The thing is, safe food suggestions never work for my DC because there are none. She changed what she eats from one month to the next, one day she loves something next time she says she doesnt like it. There is nothing that she will reliably eat.

Could you ask her what she wants and give her whatever she asks for as her safe food?

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 22:12

NuffSaidSam · 03/10/2023 21:02

Could you ask her what she wants and give her whatever she asks for as her safe food?

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Have tried this, about 50 per cent of the time she'll then complain once the food is out on the table and say actually no she now wants X instead. And X will be a completely different cooked meal, so she knows full well I can't just magic it up at that moment. (Sorry OP I will stop hijacking the thread now with my own woes!)

Crazykefir · 03/10/2023 22:16

I feel your pain op. I used to let dd pick out the fruit and veg she wanted in the supermarket.

NuffSaidSam · 03/10/2023 22:17

WeightoftheWorld · 03/10/2023 22:12

Have tried this, about 50 per cent of the time she'll then complain once the food is out on the table and say actually no she now wants X instead. And X will be a completely different cooked meal, so she knows full well I can't just magic it up at that moment. (Sorry OP I will stop hijacking the thread now with my own woes!)

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Then I think all you can do is remember that it's your job to provide her with three healthy meals a day. It's her job to decide what she eats. Concentrate on how well you do your job and let her worry about hers.

If she eats it sometimes or asks for it and then changes her mind it's fussiness/messing about rather than a serious food aversion. Give food. Wait. Clear food. What she does during the wait period is up to her.

Marblessolveeverything · 03/10/2023 22:22

I would recommend a pick n mix approach. Always a couple of a safe food and something they have been involved in. My pair loved washing chopping or grating veg. I found my pair didn't eat "wet" food🤷‍♂️ but would chew a raw carrot or some grated on a plate beside a wrap with a piece of fish.

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