Looking for advice about how to handle or change my current set up... Sorry for the long post!
I have a 2yr old boy and a baby due late Feb 2024. Since birth, our 2yo has slept in the same room as us. For the first year, he slept in a co-sleeper with the barrier up. Once he aged out of it, he went into a cot. But over time, he kept ending up in our bed, so we ditched the barrier and let him sleep by me permanently.
It's worked out well as the latest set-up means we all get more sleep. He mostly stays in his own space. But every second night, he wakes briefly and cries out for me. When he does, I cuddle him and he falls back asleep immediately beside me.
However, we have a new baby coming, and I'll need a c-section. Had the same with my first, and having a co-sleeper & limited movement was tough. At first, DH and I agreed that DS needed his own room. But he's a bit of a clingy sort, and has started having nightmares as well as becoming a bit scared of the dark.
Our house layout is also not great for a toddler to find us in the dark. Add to that my parents coming to visit soon until Dec, who will need our guest room. This hampers room set up for DS, so he'd have little time to settle in before baby comes - and more issues when my parents come back when baby is here!
None of these are insurmountable problems... and to some extend maybe I'm focusing on them because I like the current set up. But I feel like I'm being a selfish Mum - because I have no idea how we can keep things as they are with baby and I worry I'm hampering his independence. Then again, I worry by kicking him out, then baby arriving will make his clingy-ness so much worse. So part of thinks finding some kind of more creative approach until he's a bit older would be better?
Does anyone have any experience with this, or any advice?? I feel totally lost and could really use an outsiders POV!