activities with thirteen month old, feeling inadequate compared to nursery

[theotherfossilsister]

He has two days a week with just me, and really I feel like he's more entertained at nursery. We go to a play and stay session sometimes, go to the playpark, let him out in foresty bit of park, let him bang pans and crawl round the living room and play in his playpen, we look at books, but he has a short attention span. What else can we do please? He does lots of fun things at nursery so I feel a bit inadequate in comparison

My DS is 14 months and I feel the same! He comes back with all these crafts, does messy play, they make activities for them... it's amazing for him but it does make me feel rubbish when I'm just like "Hey dyou wanna play with this empty cardboard box?" 😂 I am not crafty or creative at all.

Getting out the house is my main priority with him. Much the same as you but I do swimming and soft play too (there's a cheap one near us which helps).

In the house sometimes we do things like "aeroplane rides" in the washing basket (although he's getting too heavy now!), exploring the garden, "wrestling" where I just throw him about on the bed/sofa, bath time, "drawing" which is him bashing paper with crayons. I sometimes try to build a den for him which he loves to just rip down lol.

Is he walking? DS started not long ago so suddenly the park and even just open green areas are of a lot more interest to him!

That's what nursery is for! They are professionals and also have access to loads more space and resources than the average parent. Honestly don't worry, at 13 months the whole world is quite exciting, you don't have to be cramming the day with activities.

With my third baby most of her life was spent trailing along while we did the school run, going to the supermarket or wherever and watching me tidy up. If anything she is more confident and 'able' than my eldest who went to every baby group and activity under the sun.

You're doing fine, don't try and replicate nursery, it's a whole different dynamic. Just make sure you have lots of 'options' at home and let them pick. So have loads of art and craft stuff, toy food and a kitchen has been a big hit with my three, outdoor stuff like balls and plenty of books. Then let them get on with it.

My youngest is three now and this morning she picked up a load of leaves and sticks on the way home from the school run, then she painted them (and quite a lot of my kitchen table), then played with her toy kitchen for a bit, then watched tv and had lunch, then 'helped' me tidy up a bit, then we went back to school. Honestly it's a blessed relief when they can watch tv for a bit and have it hold their attention, I don't care what anyone says.

You don't need to constantly entertain him..Sometimes it's just nice to let them be and play with their toys, relax watch cbeebies with you, read s book with you, listen to music , chat etc.
Honestly I think sometimes very young children can have too much stimulation.

That’s what nursery is for! On my days off the kids play alongside each other in a local park while I drink coffee with my friends, in the afternoons we go to the supermarket or do pickup for their sibling. Tv features too. They are doing great.

He doesn't need constant stimulation and entertainment. He's still so little. Just take it slow, don't feel pressured into jamming the day full of activities because it's unsustainable anyway, even when they grow up and actually do need more stimulation.

What he needs the most is you and your cuddles x

I agree he doesn’t need constant stimulation. It’s probably good for him to have some more relaxed time in between nursery days.

Put some music on and dance around the living room.
Go to the supermarket.
Look at some ducks.
Splash in puddles.

My DS absolutely loved sweeping with the dustpan and brush at that age, and putting my shoes on and toddling round in them. He found it absolutely hilarious. Hours of fun.

I left all the messy play/crafty stuff for nursery! We used to just go on walks (I remember standing for 15mins in a park when it was windy because DD found it fascinating!), the park, softplay (early in the morning - anything after 10am was hell with older toddlers/kids), going to the supermarket, library or just staying at home reading books, tidying/cleaning, a bit of TV. Really don't stress - I also found DD was shattered from the stimulation at nursery so days off were a welcome break!

They don't do constant activities at nursery - they'll organise a couple of things a day, which will be short enough to fit in between snack times, nap times etc., and the children will spend the rest of the time sitting around playing with toys. I actually think it's great for teaching them to play on their own so they don't need constant input. Also if your child is also going to nursery, that's ideal - they can do all the activities so you don't have to.

Agree with others that this is why they go to nursery. You don't need to do fancy things with them.

On my days off I prioritise going places. Library, swimming, supermarket, actual market, duck pond, local walk looking for trees/birds/dogs etc. And lots of cheap household activities too - dried pasta in and out of containers, putting potatoes in a muffin tray, making dens with the clothes horse and blankets, hiding in a big cardboard box.

Mine is now 2.5 and asked to go to Tesco today. They wanted to sit in the trolley and help me put things in and then spent 10 minutes swinging from the bike stands and then we came home.

Thats the beaauty of nursery! You don't need to entertain them 24/7 and its good for thrm to have a day or some time at home with their own toys, a bit of independant play

Non nursery days for us meant sitting on the bed sorting clothes having a chat. These things are hugely under rated.

Stripeypyjamas is right, don't feel inadequate, as an early years teacher the biggest gift you could give a young child is to talk to them. Even if your peeling potatoes, cleaning, going for a walk just tell them things, and make them feel engaged. Obviously I completely get if you are a little bored on your days in which case going out every day, even to a cafe/ supermarket is good so they see the world around them but in terms of feeling inadequate compared to nursery don't. I go into a lot of nurseries and in all honesty the craft etc doesn't happen quite how you'd imagine, staff are usually young and busy and it's more a case of " press down on that leaf, wash your hands" than the lovely talk about seasons etc that it should be. I'm not trying to criticise nurseries as they have a great role in socialisation and parents need to work, but just to say don't feel inadequate, time with you offers something different but just as valuable!

I agree that a bit of down time is good. My 15 month old finds nursery pretty full on so I feel like there’s nothing wrong with a bit of down time on the days we are at home. I’ve also had 2 days at home with my DD over the summer and we go swimming on one of them and usually just to the park on the other and potter around at home the rest of time. Now we’ll only have one day and I’m going to continue with the swimming as she loves it. We tried a stay and play last week but I felt like it was just stuff she could do at nursery - I guess they can be good for meeting other Mums but this one wasn’t great for that.

Thank you everyone

The nursery sent us lots of photos of him disco dancing to lights, doing finger paints, chasing bubbles and he loves it there. He does seem quite tired on his days off though

Have you seen any of the videos on tiny happy people https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/12-to-18-month-old-child-development-activities

Particularly the ones around everyday chat and how to support language around daily routines

But don't feel guilty! One to one time with you so give him a second different set of learning opportunities

Babies don’t need to be ‘doing’ stuff all day. Trying to think what I did with mine. Life still goes on on non nursery days so I would cook clean walk the dog all with kids at my feet or in the buggy. We’d watch tv, read, play with toys, get out in the garden.

They don’t have a long attention span so I didn’t do anything which required lots of things in advance whereas nursery are much better set up and staffed for messy activities and it can get grubby so your home doesn’t. We would maybe do water play - in the garden or finger paints in high chair but they were just happy being with me or their dad really they do more as they got older too helped with toy hoover or we baked etc