I just shouted at my 8 month old 4 times. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

[Junipertwigs]

He would NOT nap. He wanted to squirm and twist and do army crawling and keep rolling up a storm all the while being extremely sleepy. I know a baby is not a machine and sometimes naps don't come on schedules etc but GOD I AM SO TIRED OF WEAVING MY ENTIRE LIFE AROUND THIS BABY ALL THE EFFING TIME. I am tired, tired and bored and I hate the world.

The fun is after my shouting moment, the fellow just laughed at me not comprehending a bloody thing.

I did not hurt him or shake him hard or anything. But Good God I wanted him to just stay still so badly.

Help.

Put him safely in the cot, close the door and walk away for ten minutes or so. He'll be fine and you'll be able to calm down. Don't worry about the shouting, you're only human.

Ah , I completely get it. It’s your light at the end of the tunnel their nap , so you can just have a bit of space. So frustrating when they fight it especially when you’re in need of that time. We all reach a point of overload when
hope your feeling ok xxx

He will be fine if you leave him in his cot and have a cup of tea op, honestly just close the door and go have 10 mins to yourself.

Oh love. I’ve been there. So many of us have. It’s OK to lose it occasionally. Of course none of us are proud of it, but we’re only human.

It happens to the best of us. Just as another poster has said, put baby down somewhere safe and go and calm. This isn't anything to feel guilty about and when they are older it will be modelling the positive strategy of going having 'cool down time' when feeling frustrated.

It’s ok, your baby is safe. You acknowledged that you’re very tired and frustrated. Put baby down and let him cry for a little bit, go and have five minutes to yourself and have a little cry if need to. Come back and apologise to baby and give him a big big hug. It’s fine, sometimes we snap and it happens, being a mum is a big and relentless job.

You had a rough day today but tomorrow will be a better day

I did exactly the same with mine at times, don't worry. With my second I got earplugs, didn't stop me hearing him cry but it didn't go through my brain like a drill so I could be calmer in my response. I never get why human babies scream like they're dying and yet puppies and kittens make cute mewing sounds that are far more likely to get a positive response...

Yes fully agree with this! As long as he's somewhere safe (which presumably he is in his cot) then absolutely never feel bad about walking away to gather your thoughts. You're human, 8 month olds are tiring and often frustrating.

I bit my 8mo as my personal nadir. He was going through a phase of sticking his fingers in my mouth over and over again and it was the middle of the night and he was feeding AGAIN and I was dog tired and touched out and he stuck his fingers in my mouth AGAIN and I bit him deliberately.

I was at the end of my tether and so are you. You're only human. Go and take that ten minutes and have some deep breaths. It'll be OK. One day you'll be the one reassuring someone about how you lost your shit with your baby and it felt awful, but you took a breather and you both survived.

Thank thank you all for the kindness. Lord knows I needed it today. I have been plagued with anger and the consequent guilt about this. It is so hard being a mum but like one of the posts said, it's been a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. For the posts regarding ensuring my baby's safety, that is always a top priority no matter how peeved I get.

@Ireallydontwantto YES the nap is a small sanity break in the otherwise chaotic hellscape of a day. Exactly!

@donkra I hear you on the getting touched out bit. My son has also started clawing at my mouth when feeding or going down for a nap. Makes me so triggered!!!

@Malariahilaria God yes the crying goes right through my soul and down to the emptiness in my cells!!!! I would like some kittenly mewing for sure. Horrible crying.it

This. Put him up to nap in his cot everyday it doesn't matter if he sleeps or not. You need that nap time to yourself, while he naps. I would leave a board book in his cot too so if he isn't tired he might look at the book.

One day you'll be the one reassuring someone about how you lost your shit with your baby and it felt awful, but you took a breather and you both survived.

Yes 🙌

Stop being so hard on yourself OP. You are at your limits and you are a human.
Start making plans to get back to work. Recover your routine, your identity and your sanity. Be you again. You will feel so much better.

Just leave him in the cot and go and make yourself a cup of tea. Even if he yells, he'll be fine for 10 - 15 minutes.

😣

agreed!!

That is a very interesting point!

OP, it will be ok, I've been there, I used to put DTs in their play pen or cot and walk away for a few minutes. I think around that age is peak touched out stage. I went back to work!

Everyone has already said it but give yourself a break OP! Both my girls had time crying in a safe place while I screamed into a pillow. It's hard! And we weren't designed to do this alone. I heard recently that most female mammals don't have a menopause. Humans do so that the older women in the family can support the new mums. Which is great unless your mum is far away or still working- we don't have our villages anymore

Definitely give yourself more than 10 minutes! And do controlled crying. A lot of ppl confuse it with 'cry it out' which is different.

You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your baby.

My lovely health visitor reassured me by saying that the reason I was so triggered by DC screaming was because I was a good mum who couldn’t ignore it. A colder or less attached parent can simply switch off and walk away. It did help.

@anonimoxyz my mum died when I was young and my extended family is quite uninvolved. And yes I agree totally that we aren't meant to do this alone. It's just wrong how normalized this thing is.

@BodegaSushi I hear you. I can be a good mum only when I am not on the verge of some breakdown. That crying at that scream pitch for absolutely no reason destroys my will to live.

@Coughingdodger that indeed is true. Triggered means we care!!!

Some babies don't like to be rocked to sleep. Lay baby down and walk away. Baby learns to self soothe, and you get a much needed break.

Ditto others, when you feel like this put down somewhere safe and walk away. They will be fine and better in the long run that you have space to breathe and calm down. Also, consider going back to work if that's an option for you - I was so unbearably bored on mat leave. Working and parenting is exhausting but far better than the mind numbing experience of mat leave!