‘Don’t hold her too much’

[Randomnamex]

Anyone else have people shame you for holding your baby ‘too often’ because you’re creating ‘bad habits’ ??? Pisses me right off

Yep you're creating a rod for your back, they won't want to be put down. They're 10, 8 and 2 and they all want to be put down! Just ignore people and enjoy your baby 👶

Yep! Defo think it’s a generational thing from my experience.

My DD is 12 weeks and will be my only (longed for) child, I’ll hold her all day! 💗

In the post natal ward when my baby was about a day old and I was sitting up in my bed holding him and a maternity professional (not sure of her status) came in and told me not to hold him too much as it would spoil him.

Yep! I ignored this. I now have 2 affectionate but independent children who are 5 and 6..I also co slept but neither of my kids sleep in our bed anymore (unless poorly). Ignore!

Oh it's been such a nightmare. I have spent 11 years in a bent position holding my ever growing child. I am incapable of walking even alone to the bathroom to relieve myself. Motherhood has bent me double but it's okay, all of us end up like this because we clearly mollycoddle our precious babies. Much to my surprise she attends a Grammar School walking just fine on her own two legs! I wonder how she could possibly manage it when she was held so much and for so long. Me, I’m a lost cause. Oh those bad habits. The only rod I made for my back was broken. Solidarity sisters

It's definitely generational. And bollocks!
Along with not feeding on demand and all the other 'rods for your back'. That phrase should just be banned actually.

Interestingly, all the newer mums I know don't hold their babies because they don't want to make bad habits. I assumed this was about your NCT/equivalent!

I think the more you make them feel loved and secure the more likely they are to be confident and feel able to leave your side for developmentally appropriate exploration etc as they grow.
Keep them at arms length and they are more likely to be clingy.

You can’t spoil a baby!

Tell that to the women in other cultures who carry their babies all day long in makeshift slings.
It’s absolute bollocks. Babies need care and comfort. They don’t learn bad habits. People trot that out without even knowing what habits they mean and without a shred of evidence.

Apes carry their babies. Doesn't stop them developing normally. Women in many different cultures carry their babies, have done for millenia.

What exactly is the bad habit to be avoided? Feeling secure?

My husband's grandmother thought I should put my babies down more. She thought it was appalling that I coslept as how could I perform "wifely duties" 😂iI think some people are concerned that you won't be able to be a good housewife if you carry your children a lot. Sod that! If rather have happy children than a spotless house while I leave a baby to scream...

My MIL told me babies were manipulative and I needed to show them who was boss. This seemed to be locking them away and letting them cry.
I took no notice.