Unusual or normal for an 8 year old?

[Resembledarose]

I have two sons, 8 and 6. Both are summer born, birthdays in mid July. DS8 is lovely but hard work in a variety of ways, he's an anxious, sensitive kid, but also loud and energetic.

His younger brother DS6 had an appointment today that we all had to go to as DH was working. It was already stressful beforehand as DS8 was shouting most of the morning (just making sounds at the top of his voice AAAAH OOOOH BA BA AAARGH OOH etc) BUT he was playing Lego as he did it, and as he rarely plays with toys I let it be.

Anyway we had to wait in the waiting room for awhile and he was crawling on the floor, being quite loud, crawling under the seats and flopping around. I felt like I was telling him to stop the whole time. We played some games like rock paper scissors but basically it was just boring and not much I could do. However during this DS6 largely sat on his chair, swinging his legs and chatting while I continually asked DS8 to sit down, don't go behind that desk, come out from under the chairs etc.

I don't know if my expectations are too high or if this is starting to be unusual for a child of his age. I'm erring towards the latter due to his brother being able to sit fairly patiently. But then I think well there's a range of 'normal' development in younger children and babies and maybe this is the same and what I've described is not all that unusual?

I think it would be prudent to investigate further.

School suggested it when I asked for support after regularly being late as I just couldn't get him out of the car and then down the street without physically maneuvering him/spending a lot of time cajoling. They haven't raised any other concerns. He's always found drop offs difficult but it hit a new level when he moved up to middle school in year 3. This way of going in seems to be continuing to work though as while he's usually not keen, he does actually just go in.

Sorry op bit no normal at all at that age. Crawling on floor, ignoring you etc. Noises at home Sounds ADHD as does pp who's son jumps up poles etc- classic ADHD- sudden physical movements, lack of social etiquette abd no danger sense.

Anxiety often presents similarly to ADHD. I would seeking assessment for neurodivergence- primarily looking at anxiety / ADHD / ASD. Focus on diet/ sleep / exercise and ensure those are all good and appropriate for his age, especially sleep. Start treating as if he has ADHD and see if that helps - lots of exercise and outdoor time, fidgets / things to play with if have to wait, high protein low sugar diet.

Bit old for crawling on the floor

As you've said, next time bring activities to do

He seems like he doesn't like unfamiliar places?

Ah. Well if school are not flagging up any concerns it's unlikely to be ADHD then as it needs to be behaviour present in at least two different settings. We have been through all of this with one of our DC. School said that he is no issue in school yet he behaves similarly to your DS.

We get no support unfortunately.

Well often children will keep their best behaviour for school and come out wrecked from trying so hard. Considering he has difficulty going into school and difficulty sitting for a short length of time l would be talking to my GP and exploring further. Saying that my ds has a late diagnosis of ADHD and had absolutely no bother as a child sitting in a waiting room. Actually as a smaller child people were complimenting him on a long haul flight for being so contented. His difficulty was with impulsive behaviour and totally lack of concentration but in a quiet way. He also has dyslexia.

I would have your child investigated as its often only when parents see a second child's behaviour that they realise their first might have an issue.

Vettrianofan we have a diagnosis of both ASD and ADHD. Our DC is an excellent masker though so no signs were shown in primary as they could hold it together. However, at secondary things fell apart.

This was our experience too.

I really wouldn't wait until Parent's Evening @Resembledarose. I would ask for a meeting with his Teacher and SENCO and say that you are experiencing some issues with age inappropriate behaviour at home and ask if he's showing them at school.

I'd also ask the school SENCO to assess him.

Waiting lists for Assessments can be years long and you hopefully want him to have been seen before High School.

The friendships thing can be quite telling too. Usually at 8 boy's friendships are quite straightforward and are based on who has the ball and will play with them.

I'd also do a little pack for your handbag. Something like a couple of toy cars/trains, a small book or some colouring and keep it in your bag for these unexpected moments.

Also agree with high protein foods and plenty of opportunities to move. Does he do any sports?

I have a (just) 8 yr old who I am convinced has the hyperactive part if ADHD - not the inattentive, but the hyper, and he is just like this. Their dad is diagnosed with ADHD. School do not think he has ADHD - I beg to differ although he is getting better as he gets older. Personally, I'm not going to pursue a diagnosis unless it becomes an issue at school as I won't medicate him so he's just having to learn how to control himself, which is difficult for him, but he is making strides. He's worse when his brother is with him, when he's alone he's a lot quieter, they feed off each other. It's tough because you feel very judged as a parent but you just have to roll with it.

It's not normal as such, but it depends how often it happens. My 7 year old for example still has the odd tantrum in public, and occasionally behaves in an immature way which might cause others to turn their heads and notice, but for the most part her behaviour is ok and she conforms to social norms.

This is interesting as I think being with his brother makes him worse too. He is much, much easier to manage one to one. However his brother isn't generally spurring him on, it's more him trying to get his brother to play.

We went to the supermarket the other day and I was reminded of why I never take them both - 8yo ran around on all fours, climbed under the clothes displays, laid on the floor. It was so rubbish. His brother giggled sometimes but when asked to walk alongside me, did so. 8yo just wouldn't, he's says "OK" then carries on as he was. I can't stand it.

If it is just me and 8yo in the shop though, he is totally fine.

Sometimes with ADHD they can try and get Dopamine hits from winding up their siblings. Mine are older now and when they start with one another I tell them to hi and get their Dopamine somewhere else. Things are much calmer now they're older and understand how to manage their condition much better.

We have a child with adhd in school that really sparks off the others in class. Mum says he’s fine at home. It’s too much stimulation I guess.