DD is just about to turn 4 years old. She was an excellent toddler, seemed to miss out the terrible twos and then turned into a complete threenager which has made for a difficult year. She's been through a lot of changes this past year (moving house, starting nursery, new sibling, moving from cot to a bed) so I'm putting it down to that as well as normal development leaps. Things had got a lot better and DH and I have developed better parenting techniques. I thought all was getting back on track however lately whenever she spends time with DGP (my parents) she constantly has terrible outbursts and is so unpleasant to everyone in the house, shouting and screaming, throwing toys, scaring her little brother, even hitting sometimes.
DD is very close with DGP. When I went back to work after maternity leave they looked after her 2 full days a week for 2 years and then 10 months ago she started nursery so we cut it down to 1 day instead. I thought this would be an easier transition for her then all out cold turkey with DGP. So she goes 3 half days to nursery, 1 day with DGP and 1 day with me and DS (in that order). Every day when she is with me and DS she always has outbursts (although is fine when we have her days altogether). I put it down to the fact that she gets so much 1 on 1 attention at DGP and they go out all day and do fun things (I can't be out all day long because DS still naps twice a day so at least have to be back for a decent afternoon nap) that she gets angry and explodes when she doesn't get her own way or I can't give her my full attention.
I'm really at my wits end at how to handle this? It really makes everyone in the house miserable and I feel so guilty I'm not doing enough or being enough for her. Last night she went for a sleepover at DGP house and when I went to pick her up she hid from me and didn't want to come home. Is that normal? Have we created a horrible home for her? I feel horrendous that she doesn't want to spend time at home! How can I fix this?