My breastfeeding journey to end

[sunlover1123]

Hi all,

Looking for a little advice.
My little one turns 5 months next week and I've exclusively breastfed for these months which I'm really proud of as I had a tongue tie baby and lots of latch issues. Baby still has a very shallow latch but still continues to feed albeit little and often.

My mental health with DS has taken a turn for the worse and I don't think I can breastfeed anymore.
He cries or moans for most of the day as he's done since the day he was born and I've decided for my own sanity to just stop with the feeding. He's BF to sleep which means I get no support from DP.

I think mentally I can cope another 3 months before I'd like to go back to work. I'm not ashamed to say that I've not really enjoyed maternity leave and I am often really hard on myself and feel quite isolated. I thrive at work and my DP is happy to swap roles with me or potentially enrol LO into a nursery a few days a week.

Has anyone given up at the 5 month mark and how did they start with formula? DS has not had it and struggles to take a bottle due to TT even when I did try to express to give myself a break.

Thanks in advance :)

Has you baby's tongue tie been cut? If so, maybe try a MAM bottle?
Or you could go straight to a cup?

my main advice is do it slowly - couple of weeks at least as otherwise it will be a lot for your body to adjust to. Drop one feed at a time and give it a couple of days at least for your body to get used to that and don’t express if you feel engorged as that will maintain supply

TT was cut successfully. We've tried two different sets of bottles and neither have been successful. It was the same with dummies... tried 5 different brands and he just couldn't figure it out sadly

You've done amazingly well so far and there is nothing to be ashamed of by changing the way you feed! I found when I had to switch to formula for the same reasons (at 2 months though) I felt so much better physically and mentally - hope you do too 💐

Also to add I stopped for similar reasons and really beat myself up about it but now a couple of years later I feel proud I did it for as long as I did and that I did the best thing for my little family in stopping when I did

Thanks I will try and give this a go. I'm hoping bottle feeding will get better slowly with formula too until he can drink from an open cup

Thank you! I've beaten myself up enough as a parent so I'm trying to be kinder and admit sometimes that some things (such as BF) just don't seem to be working

All 3 bottle fed. No problems. But can be tricky to switch. Weaning can start at 6 months and could use heavier duty formula if failing to gain weight. Speak to your health visitor too.

I think you'll need to try different bottles if he's struggling to latch. Some people mix breast milk and formula, dropping the BM and upping the formula amount slowly until its all formula.

How did you find the switch and what bottles did you end up using?

Nice to know it's been done before and I'm not alone!

Hi I stopped feeding my first at 6 months and gradually cut out one feed per day over the course of a few weeks (I was mindful not to do it too quickly in case it caused issues with my body). He took to it very well.

My second however was a bottle (and dummy) refuser for quite a few months! I eventually managed to get her fully onto bottles by 8 months. The one that eventually worked for us was the Lansinoh bottle - friends have also found that it worked for their breastfed babies, so it may be worth you giving it a go. It didn't happen overnight but I kept persevering! I also managed to get her to take a dummy from 8 months too and that was a game changer for us as she could use it to settle to sleep. Hope that helps! You're doing great.

You're not giving up. You're making a decision that is best for you and your baby. I started weaning off just before 6 months and stopped completely at 7 months. The deciding factor was when I spent almost all of Christmas Day on my own in a dark room trying to get her to feed because she was so distractible. It was making me feel so crap I'd just had enough. BF had always been a bit of a battle for us and once she was on formula she visibly thrived and slept better. My only regret is that I didn't combi feed sooner. Do what feels right for you x

Just to say op, that you're not alone- it's very intense and I definitely struggled with bedtimes particularly because it felt like it was all on me.

We split it now, so dh does ds dinner and bath and gets him completely ready for bed and then I go in at the very end to snuggle and feed him. It gives me a little time to myself in between and means it's not entirely my responsibility. Would something like that be possible for you to break that bedtime stretch up a bit?

I'd also say that ds is 10 months now and he's feeding from me much less and has been for a few months since he started on solids so you might notice a difference around then. Dh was able to respond to ds when he woke in the night etc around the time he went into his own nursery as well so there's possible changes ahead for you hopefully.

Another option is could you express some milk so your dh can give a bottle when he gets home so you can have a decent stretch of time to yourself?

Now, if that still feels too far away to wait then you are allowed to make the decision that feels best for you and your family. You've done amazing getting to 5 months because it is tough going.

Ds would take the odd bottle and he went through a real aversion to them around the 4/5 month stage. I gave him empty bottles to play with and when he started being happy to chew the teat again, I put about an oz of milk in and gave it a go. It took a few tries before he'd accept one and every time he refused i stopped offering immediately and went back to bottles to play with but we got there eventually. Sometimes if they're feeling unwell/ having a leap etc they can refuse so keep trying at different times incase that's coinciding.

Similar realisation for me yesterday sitting in the dark in my living room unwell with the baby. My mum came over to help but as no one else can feed it it was down to me all day. Got me really low and plus I've got such fast milk flow he's struggling to keep up anyway. I'd rather him learn with bottles.

Great advice, thanks for sharing. We have the lansinoh bottles but he ends up biting them and not sucking? It's the same when I've put expressed milk in the bottle and I'm wondering if formula would be easier to take?

We've got the medium flow bottles and he just can't figure out how to suck them at the moment... same with the dummy.
My mum kindly tried to give the dummy
To him yesterday and he's stopped gagging on them but still just chews and doesn't suck.

I thought I had to breastfeed but my OH agrees if I want to quit just to do it as it's making me miserable.

I'm trying to work out what feed time would be best to introduce a bottle and try and stick to that time. The mornings I've still got quite full breasts so that's not going to work. Maybe last thing at night?

I agree with a previous poster, don't think of it as giving up OP. You're making a decision to do what it best for you and your family.

I'm also I'm the middle of trying to reduce breastfeeding, or maybe stop, I'm not fully decided yet. My LO is 8 months and also won't take a bottle. I know it's not going to be a quick process but knowing that I'm doing something to get to the point where they'll take formula (fingers crossed!) makes me feel like the end is in sight.

Best of luck to you

I gave up bf from about 6 months. I dropped one feed at a time over a couple of months. My ds already took a bottle as I expressed from about 4 months. It took a while for him to get the hang of a bottle. It helped if my DH gave him a bottle as he knew no other food was on offer! I would say formula tastes different to bm so even though he was used to a bottle it took a few goes to accept formula.

Good luck with your journey - it's definitely tougher then I thought it would be x

Thanks for the info - good to know it can be done!

Pender definitely second what others have said about combi feeding for a bit. Stopping too quickly at 5 months would be very uncomfortable for you and you could struggle with engorgement. It's also just much easier to be away from your baby for a day when you are confident they can take a bottle when needed as you have gradually practised.

It's easier to get someone else to do the early bottles - my eldest would only ever take a bottle from my mum (never DH), my boys were more flexible about it but didn't have one with me until they'd been having them with DH and my mum for a week.

Can be worth persevering with dummies too. Some babies need to suck! My eldest was fine without, but my boys still have theirs to relax before they go to sleep and they are nearly 3. Having the dummy made them much more flexible about sleep as it's a sleep association you can take absolutely everywhere - cot, pram, car...

I'm no expert by any means, but I also have a fast flow and forceful letdown. Ds actually could only put on weight with his tongue tie because all he had to do was trigger a letdown and then he stopped working for it and just swallowed what poured into his mouth. He really struggled when my supply regulated which was around 4 months and he actually had to work for it because he was used to it just pouring in. Is it possible that might be what's happening with your wee one?

I found it hard to get the time to pump tbh so I would have done it really late after ds was definitely asleep or first thing in the morning if I could get up before him. Then dh would have given a bottle in place of me feeding him to sleep but I found he'd still cry for me until he went into his own room and dh started responding to him more in the night. Sometimes dh would have given one around teatime and I'd have gone for a nap around then so I'd try to think of what time best gives you a chance to rest and do it around then.

We used the MAM bottles but I know lots of people who had to go through lots of different types before their wee one would accept it. I know you're wanting to wean your wee one off but you could still join a bf support group, they'd help you with the transition and there would be lots of mums who've combi feed or weaned and been through it for a bit of support as well.

You don't have to do anything, you do what's right for you as an individual and for your family. But everything you're feeling and experiencing is completely normal. I think it's really unfair how easy bf is portrayed as being.

I think we started offering 30ml of formula after each breastfeed as he wasn't putting on enough weight, then slowly increased - on the advice of our midwife. You could call your health visitor for a plan? We used tomee tippee bottles mainly because we got a big set with a steraliser etc and never any problems with them, ahve also used mam bottles and no issues! Make sure you have the right teat for their age. Wishing you all the best

I didn’t see if anyone else suggested this, but if possible try to have your DP give the bottles the first few days. Many babies will not take a bottle from mum at first.