Working full time with toddler

[anotherbusymama]

Posted on another thread and posting here for more reach!

Really need somebody to share some experiences! I know it’s different to everyone but I hope I’ll find a bit of me in your stories and they will help me to make the best decision.

I feel like it’s time for me (as a person) go back to working full time. I have an opportunity to go back and work from 12-8pm Mon to Fri. Which means my daughter would be at childminders from 11.30 to 17.30. I would still get to spend the mornings with her and see her after nursery even though I’ll be working until she goes to bed. Work is from home and my daughter is 2 to at the moment.

I have a very strange feeling and feel unsure. I am really confused as I want to progress on my career but at the same time I feel guilty not being sahm. I know it might sound stupid to some but I just want to hear some positive stories I guess?

Does she go to nursery already? I work full time, DS is only 14 months and is in nursery from around 7.30-5.30 Mon-Fri. It's a long time for him and he gets really tired but he absolutely loves it at nursery, and his development has been amazing since attending. It's hard, and I miss him, but I know he's in a great place and the fact he likes it makes me feel a bit less guilty! It also means I appreciate the time we do have together and for me, my job is a part of who I am so I couldn't be without it.

I just try not to look at the nursery bill too often as it's ridiculous lol but worth it!

I can’t see any downsides to this, it’s a short childcare day and WFH makes it easier.

I wouldn’t hesitate.

I work 2 days a week at the job I hate and that is unrelated to my degree and previous career. I’ve also been doing a side hustle but I feel like it’s time for me to move on.

I think that sounds pretty reasonable. You still get every morning together.
Your partner is presumably going to cover from 5.30 until 8pm?
At this age I was working until 7pm on 4 days a week and we managed.
My only concern would be how your DD will find you WFH on those days. Knowing you're in the house but not available could be tricky.

I did find it a little hard with a toddler working from home when they knew I was there - being cared for by someone else. Other than that all sounds good. I definately did sometimes leave work when I heard him crying for me which probably wasn't ideal, but did then go back to 'office' (my bedroom) and over time he accepted it. As long as you have a space apart when the toddler is there it is doable

I think it sounds relentless. Half a day looking after a toddler before you even start a full work day. WFH with a noisy 2YO in the house possibly causing a lot of upset if they know you’re home but not available, especially if you’ve been the primary parent up until now. Little opportunity for downtime because it’s a late finish but you’ll probably still want to get to bed at a reasonable time because you’re caring for a toddler all morning. Also for your partner who works a full time yet has to do the evening routine solo every night. I see the advantage that you only have to pay for half a day’s childcare but for me the trade off wouldn’t be worth it, especially as DC is 2 so at the age where nursery starts to really benefit them rather than a small baby you would want them looked after by a parent wherever possible.

I guess it’s one of the things that I will have to try and see.. I do like the fact that I will have the mornings with her.

Yes I do have the support to do that and I don’t have to worry about dinner etc so it makes things a lot easier I guess.

This.
Sounds like you've found an ideal scenario.

Also the job offers 6 flexi days a month during those days I can work whenever! I’ve been doing freelance work so I know what it means to work from from with a toddler + later nights.

Full time working with a toddler doesn't have to be an issue in itself, but I agree with pp that the wfh through dinner and bedtime could be hard, if you can hear DD getting upset (or being super cute!) it might be difficult to resist going and getting involved.
Plus sooner later she'll work out you're there and keep trying to come and find you.

Sorry x-post with this!

Sounds great to me!

Mornings with her - often when toddlers and small people are at their best - then drop off at a childminder (better than having to do pick up and rush back from work!). Don’t need to be in charge of dinner-bath-bed so a proper 50/50 delineation of who’s doing the parenting when… can’t see any downsides, personally!

Also she’s in bed by 6.30-7pm.

Thank you everyone for your opinions! :)

@Diddleflop yes I see what you mean. It would be most dinners but not all.

The evening hours wouldn't put me off to be honest as we don't eat usually until after 8pm anyway and even as a toddler there's no way DD would have been in bed before 7 or 8 anyway. Plus Flexi would give you a weekday afternoon/evening off at least once a week.
We did it the other way round and DD went to nursery in the morning and then DH picked her up at lunchtime (couple of days a week) she then conked out most of the afternoon while he worked and woke up as I got home! She went to Granny's on 2 days and I was at home (not working) another day.
You just have to juggle childcare and working as best you can.

Thanks mamas!