My DS is 3.5. Sometimes he will randomly come up to me and smack me hard around the head. We also have a lot of hitting/kicking at bedtime (though I appreciate this might be overtiredness). I just CANNOT find a way to get through to him that this is unacceptable. We've tried:
Naughty Step/Time out step (from Supernanny): This turns into a game of tag, and DS thinks it's the best game EVER. It's supposed to remove them to a boring space for a bit and deprive them of your attention - but him running off and waiting for us to put him back is DS's idea of heaven. He started actively asking us to put him on the Time Out Step. So this doesn't work right now.
Taking a toy away: Kinda works if he was playing with a toy to begin with, but not if he just lashes out. He's really not that fussed, cries for 10 secs maybe then resumes the behaviour.
Star chart: worked once, but he's now not fussed. I think perhaps he's simply not able to over-ride the impulse to hit, even for a reward. Or the reward is too far away to be meaningful (I was doing 4 stars = a reward)?
Removing myself: he acts up even worse, to get my attention. Will start throwing things at me - he's already broken several toys doing this, and I start to fear for our possessions. Also does not make me feel like the Adult in Charge.
Removing him eg a stair gate over his bedroom door: he's big enough now to just climb over it. Or he'll throw stuff - there is a limit to how much I can remove from his room in advance.
The only thing that sort of works is if I really lose my temper and yell in his face - he cries, it sort of shakes him out of his naughtiness, we have a story and he calms down. But it can't be good for either of us if I'm shouting at him every day?!
Do I just have to ride it out until he develops more impulse control?