Fear of spiders

[Happymama98]

Hi all can you give me light into how to get rid of my intense fear of spiders? I now have a 9 month daughter and I would hate for her to have this same fear as I know it’s ridiculous how I can be about them.

its the time of year they get big and come into the house and the past few weeks I’ve had a few big freak outs over it. The other day there was one not even in our house but on our door outside so I ended up not going out with baby to the park and had to stay in till my partner came home from work to remove it. And now I literally rush outside the door with the pram in case it come back. My partner is out tonight and I’m doing the dishes whilst I’ve just got baby to sleep. I’ve just seen one that’s big in the kitchen I literally scream so loud (nearly woke baby up!) and rush out the kitchen crying. I’ve called my partner to come home now as I’m freaking out and can’t finish the dishes- I know I may sound ridiculous to some but I genuinely can’t help this fear. I really don’t want to pass on my irrational fear of spiders on to my daughter as I know she will pick up on this! Please help

I’m so sorry OP. I would say I have a more “normal” level of fear of spiders but I’ve also suffered from a very intense phobia of vomiting and have since over come it. I think it’s important first to ask what part of spiders is it that scares you? Is it the fear of being bitten? Crawled on? Is it just the creepy crawly way that they look and walk? It’s there a specific scenario that plays in your head about spiders that scares you?

For myself I was scared of vomiting because when I was a kid I was really sick and threw up very forcefully a lot and it was quite painful. Because of that I thought vomiting was always violent and painful. When I became pregnant and naturally got sick a lot I realized my childhood experience was not normal and that vomiting wasn’t as bad as I thought. Though still unpleasant and uncomfortable. So for me exposure therapy was a really great help though not exactly ideal.

Also watching cartoon characters get sick in comical not scary or horrible ways was helpful in a way that allowed me to get to a place where I could be in the same room when my daughter was sick.

There’s some “cute spider” animations on youtube you could watch. They are believed it or not, cute baby singing and dancing animated spiders. Might be a good place to start. I can send you a link if you like. I won’t do it unless you are ready of course!

Also if you have a run in with a spider maybe when you are calm give it a name and a silly scenario. I know how this all must sound very ridiculous. But sometimes we have to stay small and work our way up to the scary bits!

Do you live near London at all? There is a course at London Zoo to overcome your phobia and it's worth doing. Changed my life completely.

Sorry to hear this. It's a very real phobia. I had the same feelings as you when my dd was a baby that I needed to get better. I started by putting my finger near the tiny ones, sometimes holding them. I went to a Halloween event when she was about two and we both held a tarantula. I used to live in a house with a very spidery lean to and just got braver, my DH got me a spider catcher which is amazing as it allows you to calmly get rid of them. I think the whole panic and trying to squish them then they run away feeds the anxiety and the phobia as it's actually the reaction you have and not the spider itself which scares you. It's that they make you jump which then intensifies the fear and the feeling of fear and you go into fight or flight mode. If you can work on that you can get better.

That was very brave of you! I’m impressed! There are certain spiders that don’t necessarily scare me but i’m definitely not at the level where I would want to touch them! We had a non poisonous spider move into our bathroom and we couldn’t be bothered to remove it. We named her charlotte and justified leaving her there by claiming she was paying rent by removing the other pests. 😂

I just wanted to post you are not alone, in bloody terrified and I’m ashamed to say so are both DDs. I’ve felt terrible about it but one of my closest friends has a DS who is absolutely petrified and she is the calmest and coolest person when it comes to spiders (we lived together and she would deal) so I do think it’s not necessarily a trait you pass on!

I think it's great that you are thinking about this early. When I was very small I used to love gently picking up big spiders and giving them to my mum, I didn't understand why she didn't want to hold them but she was terrified. Unfortunately I got her fear of them after that. I'm ok now but it took years! My mum is still paranoid about them and I buy the Zero repellent spray which I get delivered to her on a subscription from Amazon. She hasn't seen one for years (spray it around doors, windows and skirting boards). It doesn't hurt them, just repels them.

Yes it's definitely not hereditary. I'm arachnophobic but my Mum wasn't remotely bothered by them.

Yes actually I specifically remember becoming afraid after I accidentally flicked past a horror movie about spiders as a kid when I was scrolling through channels trying to find something to watch. So even if you do everything right they can pick it up else where quite easily! 😅