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Parenting

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Original poster

How many days does/did your child attend nursery?

15 replies

shellshel · 28/09/2023 09:05

DS attends nursery 4 days a week, we get help from grandparents 1 day and we both work full time

i usually drop him around 8-8.20am and collect 4-4.30pm (yes I leave my laptop on as I leave to get him to keep myself online)

I feel like does he go too much? Do we leave him there too long?

Im doing the stupid thing of comparing but I feel like he attends nursery loads compared to others but what is the average??

I do feel good he’s in a learning environment with other kids socialising. If I kept him at home while I WFH he’d go stir crazy being stuck in and I feel that’s unfair as we can afford to send him

I just all of a sudden feel guilty thT we do?

I will be dropping a day before I give birth to DD his sister so he’ll be dropping a nursery day, so it’ll be 3 days soon which I oddly don’t feel as bad about? Why do I feel like 4 is loads?

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Leo227 · 28/09/2023 09:08

we do the same as you. I'd like it to be only 3 really, but the drop in wage seemed too much and he's fine really and enjoys himself.

MrsSamR · 28/09/2023 09:17

My DD (3) goes 3 days a week and has since she was 1. My second DD who turns 1 next month will also start going 3 days when she turns 1. I've always found 3 days a good balance for us.

B1993 · 28/09/2023 09:18

When my DH and I worked full time, DS attended 8am-6pm 5 days a week! I hated working full time and leaving my son for such a long time so as soon as I could, I dropped to 3 days a week. My son attended from 8am-6pm on the days I worked and then we had the other 4 days 'at home' with me (and DH at the weekend).

DS has just started reception and luckily I'm on maternity leave up until mid May with younger DS, so he's only attending school 8:40am-3:20pm. We will have to use wrap around care when I go back to work for eldest DS and will again use nursery for our younger DS.

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tealandteal · 28/09/2023 09:21

My older Ds went 4 days and DS2 has just started 4 days. There are lots of babies there that do the same days as him.

PinkPlantCase · 28/09/2023 09:22

We do the same as you though DS is in for longer days as I don’t finish work till 5:30 and DH doesn’t finish until 5. 2 mornings a week he starts at 7:30 the other days it’s around 8am.

Irl I know very few other parents with nursery aged who work full time so it is a bit unusual amongst our peers. I have mixed feelings about it, tbh I’d rather drop a few hours when my kids are schools age so we can be there for homework etc than now when nursery is open for all of the hours we’re at work. Me and DH are in our late 20s so are very much still establishing ourselves in our careers too. It might be different if we were having DC 10 years later.

DS does get on really well at nursery, has strong relationships with the staff and other children and generally has lots of fun!

I’m due a baby at the end of November and we’ll be dropping him down to 2 days a week when I’m on leave. I want to try an make the most of having more time to spend with him and taking him to toddler groups. I also only get SMP and he’s 2 so we don’t get any free hours yet so the cost of keeping him in nursery when I’m at home will be too high.

I’m taking 9 months leave followed by 3 months part time then I plan to go back full time then we’ll have 2 children in nursery 4 days a week!

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/09/2023 09:26

DH and I both work full time, DS goes to nursery 5 days per week from 8-5 generally, sometimes one of us can pick him up at 4-4:30.

I don't feel guilty at all personally. Nursery is a great place, he has a wonderful time and gets to experience so many different activities we wouldn't have thought of at home.

Working part time isn't for either of us.

Jxtina86 · 28/09/2023 09:27

It's needs must sometimes - DD went 4 days a week, 8am-6pm from 11 months old to 4 years old. I worked 4 days and we couldn't afford to drop more. We had Fridays together which was lovely. She's just started school and goes to wraparound care there too. I feel like she's just used to it now - it's how our life is and she knows no different! Yes the occasional guilt creeps in and I'm trying to career change so we don't rely heavily on wraparound but we are where we are!

ChristopherTalken · 28/09/2023 09:55

DD3 has been in a private nursery since 11 months. She does 9am-5pm on a standard day which we are able to do with flexible working (DH starts and finished early, i start and finish later). Whenever we can we shorten her day a bit more e.g. 9.30-4.
If I ever feel like she needs a break or I just want some one-on-one time, I use annual leave and have a day with her. We also utilise the weekend as family time.

Its hard. I have colleagues who have their toddlers in 7am-6pm. This is why its important to find a nursery you absolutely love. We made the mistake of going for the cheaper more conveniently located nursery and it was shit and DD was so miserable. We ended up almost doubling our fees and commute but DD runs into her keyworkers arms for a cuddle and i know she has the best time.

heritew · 28/09/2023 11:14

Mine did 3 days a week from 2.5 years. I work 2 days and I'd take her to groups and classes on the other 2 days. I think it would be too stressful to try to wfh and care for a toddler.

Mummyboy1 · 28/09/2023 11:51

Since 12 months ny son has been going to a childminder from 7.30am to 6pm. Next week he'll be doing 2 days childminder, 2 days nursery same hours. From January, he'll have just turned 2, he'll be doing all the days at nursery, same hours. He needs to be in for those hours. I don't think the hours are too long at all

CoalCraft · 28/09/2023 12:05

1st started 3 days a week (full days - 8:30 - 5pm) at 9 months, then up to four days around 18 months, then up to five days at something like 28 months (ish). Second started at 4 days a week at 9 months and will go up to five days at something like 16 months.

It is a lot. I would prefer both to stay at four days max but it's not feasible really.

Costalife · 28/09/2023 14:39

My 2 year 3 month goes Monday Tuesday and Friday 8.45am-2.45pm
We both work opposite shifts to each other so don't need as much child care but it does involve night and weekend work for one of us

Juicyjuicymango · 29/09/2023 05:58

It's arbitrary to ask 'is it too much' and compare your unique situation to everyone else's.

The most important question is, is he happy? And does the set up work for your family?

DD has been going three days a week, long days 7.30 until 5.30 or 6, since she was 14months.

She's thriving there now and me and her dad can work, pay the mortgage, feed her and keep her warm and happy. I also look forward to going to work. It's important for my well-being which makes me a better mum all round.

Simonjt · 29/09/2023 06:08

Our almost two year old does four days a week, she does school hours so 9-2. I’m currently unemployed, but we’re keeping her in so when I find a job after christmas she is already well established in nursery. Plus it only costs about £90 a month.

WooWooWinnie · 29/09/2023 06:12

I suppose it depends how much he enjoys it? My DD does 2 days a week and I think they’re her favourite days of the week haha! I’d rather she didn’t have to do such long days but needs must - she’s one of the first in the door at 8am and often the last one when I pick her up at 6. She’s only 18 months at the moment but I think when she turns 3 we’ll up it to 3 days.

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