Horrible junior football league experiences

[forevaworried]

My son started playing for a local team, he played a few friendlies in the summer and this is his first season as U13. He’s late to it at 12 years old but was desperate to do it and after a few try outs was signed. He’s shows up to training and matches. He’s not the fastest or the strongest but he’s doing his best, and enjoying it. I hoped this would be enough as he’s progressing, learning all the time, gives it his all. However some of the parents there … they are so vocal and critical, sometimes they are openly pissed off if the team loses, misses passes or penalties etc. it’s horrible to see and hear especially when sometimes it’s aimed at your kid. For instance, this Sunday my son got megsed (ball went between his legs), very embarrassing for him and since he’s a defender it meant a goal was scored for the opposition (although we won 8-2 at full time). But Jesus the collective sigh of disdain and disgust was painful from parents. Not helped at all by the gobby striker of the team with definite anger issues launching a tirade of verbal against him loud enough for everyone to hear… taking the mick saying he’s useless “what’s he doing with his legs open” etc etc. I find going to these games so bloody stressful. I messaged the coach and asked is my son really doing that badly?! Does he need extra training or a pep talk? Coach was really reassuring saying it’s his first season, some kids on that team have been playing 6+ years, my son is doing just fine and he’s got no problem with his performance. But it doesn’t feel like that when other parents are so vocal and aggressive, honestly some of them stand at the lines screaming and swearing. I find it horrible! Why can’t they find another team if the have a problem with the current one? Is junior football not meant to be about having a good time and learning to take the dogs rough with the smooth, winning and losing graciously? Supporting all the players not chastising them when they f* up? A big part of me wishes me son would just quit so I don’t have to feel sick every Sunday morning dreading all the ways he might get it wrong and be publicly shamed for it. Is it just me? Or are some parents and their kids just dicks?

Or are some parents and their kids just dicks?

Unfortunately, yes. Just roll your eyes and ignore them. Your son will get better at football but they’ll always be shits.

I think that's absolutely appalling !
What a shame for you and your son .. both my boys play in similar leagues and have done for years , parents offer nothing but encouragement and positivity- he needs building up not putting down and as for the other team mates I am lost for words- what sort of sportsmen are they !
I think unless your son absolutely loves it I would be looking for a new team .

I had to remove DS8 from our local team. He has ASD they were awful - allowing him to be bullied and he was the only one on the team not allowed to play in actual matches. He wasn't that bad at it - just new really but they were all about winning.

Took him to rugby - they threw him straight into a match with a coach running with him showing him what to do. He's been included from the start and everyone has been so friendly. All children play at that level.

Football really brings out the dicks I'm afraid. I'm glad we're away from it.

I am appalled at some of the comments I hear yelled out at our local club. I assume it’s parents. Things like “bloody idiot” “fucking wanker” “pathetic” “what a pussy”. All deeply offensive, but inexcusable at a children’s match.

Unfortunately this is sport, you should hear them yelling at the 8 year olds! Not saying it's right but it is normal

I found girls football slightly better in that parents applauded good play but didn't shout t poor play. However how long this lasts I don't know.

Ultimately I feel as children get older coaches become more competitive and naturally start to pick the better players. I think for competitive sports you have to think what the best way to be inclusive is and I don't think there are easy answers.

Incidentally an academy girl from a premier league junior team has joined our daughters team recently and she is so skilful she is scoring 6 goals a game but actually this makes it really boring. It seems after being released from a top (very top) team there is no where really for her to go apart from the inclusive minor town team. It just is a now a showpiece for her talent as she doesnt pass just scores.

@Trethew

apparently at premier academy level it is more parents grimly staring a t games not speaking knowing the other children are completion within the team. The parents only applaud their own children and observe studious avoidance of other parenrs. Less vocal but similar horrible atmosphere.

Parents here. Do goalkeepers get stock because no one wants to fill these positions because of the possibility of embarrassment.

Boys junior football is well known for being awful. My DD plays and overall I’ve not seen similar behaviour in girls football (yet) but when there’s other matches being played at the ground I can see the difference between the girls and boys game down at Under 8 level. It’s always the Dads shouting at kids, and despite initiatives from the FA to crack down on it, it comes down to the individual clubs and coaches to make it happen. Most don’t.
This sort of shit is why kids leave sport. They can’t just enjoy sports for sports sake, especially in football.
I wish there were more “friendly” clubs who focus on participation for kids like yours. The health benefits of keeping active are huge!

The club should have a welfare officer. Worth having a chat with them. The onus is on the club to crack down on this. If you don’t get anywhere with the welfare officer, you can report the club to the local league.

My ds doesn't play now because of this. He only ever wanted to play for fun and he is pretty sensitive so hated all the shouting - he said why does football make people so angry?! He plays rugby and cricket and the culture is very different and seems a lot more supportive.