toddler goes insane if we stay home

[heopmepls]

i have a 2.5 year old and a baby. i’m going insane. we were home yesterday and she was so naughty/disruptive just hitting, pushing, throwing things etc. again today, i don’t have the energy or money to go out - i’m not well and just want to chill at home but she insists on using me as a climbing frame, jumping onto my head off the sofa, pushing her baby sister, screaming, etc etc.

i can’t do it anymore i feel like walking out. i know if i go to soft play or something she’ll be fine again but my head is absolutely spinning i don’t have the energy to drive and then chase her round. please help is this behaviour normal?? i can’t afford to be going out 7 days a week anymore i’m so done

DS is 2 and is slightly less hard work when out and about than stuck in - even if it's just the dog walk. If he can push something he walks better so he always takes his little pram or shopping trolley with him, would that help her walk a bit further for you?

Completely normal. DS1 goes bonkers if we are in the house for more than a couple of hours and i genuinely think toddlers that are happy to ‘potter around the house all day’ only exist on mumsnet. I know it’s hard (I also have a newborn) but it genuinely is easier if you dig deep and get out, even if it’s just to the local swings.

Totally normal and it drives me mad in the winter too!

A buggy board is great (except now baby is nearly two and they both just want to stand on it!)

I find getting out early as possible is best and then you can get away with indoors time after that

I would get a second hand double to see you through the next 6 months at least.
My Ds is 3. He’s super active. Be if he is moany, under the weather or if I’m knackered but need some air I just pop him in pram still. Even a 30 mins walk around clears the air.
Baby might nap in pram, toddler can walk it up for it or in pram if not cooperative. Take hot drink, walk to park. Let Ds play, you sit on bench a bit and hopefully baby falls asleep. Even toddler might fall asleep in pram

Yep mine both went feral and trashed the place at that age if they didn't go out 1-2 times a day. It sucks, but it's just a phase.

As pp have said,
Second hand double buggy, or buggy board on pram, or baby in sling and toddler in buggy once they won't walk any further.

Where is your nearest playground with a climbing frame etc? At that age they won't get bored of going to the same soupel again and again (though you will)

Also, do you have a garden? Most days I aim to get out somewhere further in morning, then after lunch just local walk with running bike or toddler in garden. They can pay in garden even in winter if baby naps. Our mudkitchen and sandpit and used even in snow

Both of my dc have always needed some time out of the house when they were toddlers. I think it's fairly universal, they have a lot of energy and even if they go somewhere that's just indoor quiet play, it's a new environment so it's still tiring out their brains! We didn't have to spend much every day - often we'd go to different playgrounds (have to rotate them or travel to a new one else the same one gets boring quickly), museums, library, free farms, children's centres, free music classes. So none of it needs any spending money - we always bring a packed lunch and often spend nothing. It's tiring though, but that's parenthood really.

We have a secondhand Phil and Ted's which was cheap and so useful - it meant I could have much longer days out and travel further. I found the sling and buggy option not really sustainable if we wanted to go any significant distance from home.

Ah the joys of mini dictator tyrants!

Tire the bones out of her morning noon and night. I used to use yoga mats and a dance game on the switch, back garden with an obstacle course - or if no garden - nearest park, and give her "tasks" to do. Mine actually did yoga beside me - this really saved my sanity!

Mine never tolerated a carrier so it was buggy boards (try freecycle) and walking "games" - walk like an elephant. When you have her in a safe place do some timed running, bring a ball, etc.

I know it can be hell - but the reality is they really need that activity for their brain development, and behaviour. And the more you tire her out the more likely she is to be calmer around your baby.

Sorry I know it's a struggle - they are kind of like dogs, they need a daily "walk" or exercise/activity to get their energy out and stimulate their brains or it gets directed in destructive ways.

I also don't think it's really fair to be disciplining them constantly for behaviour that's caused by an excess of energy they need to expend. It's miserable and it will wreck your relationship.

When you say you're not well do you mean a virus, or a chronic condition?

Do you have family support, partner? Group of mum friends?

Is there a sure start children's centre close to you? Those were a lifeline when I was on my own with an active toddler and not much money.

There will be some free things to rotate - church playgroups, library sessions, as well as different parks etc it all helps.

Can you speak to your health visitor? Explain you're struggling to afford taking DC out and about but they are behaving destructively when you stay in at home and see if they can suggest anything to help. For example it might be that your 2yo is eligible for some funded part time childcare, which would give him some activity and outside input and give you a bit of a break too.