21 month old food advice

[Carlii1702]

Looking for advice ..
my 21 month old eats the same food every day. Breakfast and lunch is fine but dinner is a struggle. She has CMPA and we are maybe thinking she has something sensory going on as she gags at food without even touching it then refuses it completely, even things like bean juice!. She also refuses all meat and with her having CMPA she is limited on dairy alternatives. I have tried so many different meals, she used to only eat the tray meals but now has moved on to 1 particular meal. I didn’t know if anyone had any advice on how to get her to eat some new things.

Her typical food is ..

breakfast: weetabix
lunch : jam sandwich, strawberries, crisps
dinner: potato stars/chips veg (I always offer her some type of meat or something like veggie dippers on the side, but she won’t touch them)

Thankyou in advance

The only food I see is strawberries. Everything else is junk. Stop feeding her junk or ultra processed foods.

Eggs, soups, saucy meatballs, fish, vegetables, ..... as long as there is ultra processed foods offered she will refuse real food. My advice, stop buying and giving her the crap.

When you have a child with potential sensory issues surely it’s better for them to eat than not at all? Before you comment on a post maybe it’s best to think how you might make a person feel. Day in day out I try my hardest to give her nutritional meals, but as it states in my post she has potential sensory issues which we are under a consultant for. Believe me I don’t want to be giving her processed foods but if she will only eat that I’m not going to let my child starve. I’ve come on here as a last resort to get advice not to be judged.

You can't compete with foods that have been engineered to be highly palatable and highly addictive. As long as these are given, you won't succeed in changing her food habits.

Try to replicate palatability and texture with soft homemade foods that I have listed.

Offer alternatives, absolutely, but not potato stars, crips, or stuff like that. Involve her in food prep. Are you eating with her. Are you sitting down as a family, away from screens, eating at a table with plates and cutlery .

I am not saying you need to starve your child. You need to reeducate her palate, one food at a time.

You didn't mention a consultant in your OP.

What utter shite. Ignore this op x

Just keep trying thats all you can do. You are doing an amazing job 😊 x

Little kids like safe and familiar foods. You can't try something once and then give up, you have to play the long game. Put a bit of something on their plate that you want them to eat, alongside a safe option. Keep offering things and let them get used to it. Maybe they will only poke/lick/spit out on the first few times, thats the first step really, the next time they might go a little further.

I know she is young but I'd start including her in food prep, let her pour a scoop of rice in the pan or chop a soft avocado or banana. Let her watch you chop veg and get curious about it. Offer her little bits of what you are making, a bit of chopped pepper, grated cheese, frozen peas. My lads have even been known to nick uncooked porridge and pasta, although that's not something I encouraged! Don't pressure her just let her play and learn and become curious enough to pop a bit in her mouth. Tell her well done for trying things and doing a good job helping. Make sure you eat meals all sat down together and she can see everyone enjoying the same food. Don't pester her to eat and turn it into a battle. It's a slow game but you just have to have patience.

Might sound harsh, but its not utter shite, Cormoran hasn't said anything that's untrue.

In many kids, not all, sensory and feeding issues are a bit of a chicken and egg situation. They have been weaned on industrial baby food and the manufacturing process made of high pressure, high heat, powerful blending, food extrusion and others, gives these "foods" a unique taste and texture impossible to replicate in a kitchen. The single veggie pouch will taste nothing like the same vegetable puree made at home. The incredible soft texture cannot be obtained with a home blender , and the melt-in the mouth from salty extruded snack or breakfast cereal make it difficult to accept other textures.

Kids learn to like alien food and will refuse real food.

You need to keep in mind that you are not just filling a stomach but feeding a growing brain and body, and by giving only nutrition-void ultra processed food, your child is missing on vitamins, minerals, omega 3s and no multivitamin gummy will ever compensate for these deficiencies. The neurodevelopment of your child is not completed yet.

If you need help, reach out to your GP and ask for referrals to specialists or services in your area. If you are under the care of a consultant, be pushy and ask for help.

Eat with her. Cook with her. Sit with her at a table sharing the same meal. If she refuses a meal, offer a real food such as fruit not something in a food wrapper. Make pancakes, bake your own potatoes instead of using crisps and other potato inspired preparations, ...

You need to look at adding hidden vegetables where possible. I’d also look at working towards some swaps crisps for crackers or something else similar in texture and I would continually offer other foods alongside these. At breakfast offer different fruits alongside her weetabix, it might take weeks but she will
eventually try.

I agree with PP. give what your child will eat. My child is the exact same and is currently 2 but her foods are limited to crunchy/ beige foods. Look up sensory issues with eating, food aversions or maybe even ARFID. My daughter also has many autistic traits on top. I find it’s better to offer food alternatives to meals that she won’t eat, or make her foods that she will eat and add healthy options or meals that you have too in smaller amounts on the side. Fed is best. I also agree with letting her sit with you and eat and get involved in the cooking - doesn’t make a difference with my toddler but it may with yours. I’ve been to the GP twice about my daughter because of the severity of the limit of foods she will eat and if she doesn’t want what she’s given she’d rather starve. Hope all goes well, your doing everything you can! x

Forgot to mention before but my GP prescribed us vitamins and minerals to add to her drink once a day to replace the ones she may be missing in her foods, worth a look if your worried x

All you can do is keep trying her with foods OP. You are doing a brilliant job please don't feel like you have failed because you haven't. And actually there is loads of 'real' food there- she's having some fruit, weetabix is good, bread is good. Some veg too. Some kids eat way worse than this. You've been given some good advice already, so don't have tons to add. But the other things I can think of...

• could you make some homemade mash with veg in? My DD has CMPA too and I make her cheesy (vegan cheese) mash with butternut squash and peas in. What about sweet potato too- that is quite sweet and very nutritious, my DD loves it. I use it to make curries which I spoon feed and then add cubes on the side for self feeding.
• How is she with banana?
• Also maybe hummus with pitta?

Also remember her stomach is small, even just one spoon full or one chew is a win, even if she then rejects the rest. I would do the same as you OP though if I was then worried she's hungry, give her something she'll accept after she's tried the new stuff.

As someone once told me, accept the division of responsibility- it's your job to offer food and her job to choose what she eats. You can only do so much. You clearly care otherwise you wouldn't be posting.

Thankyou so much for all your kind words, I don't get why people feel the need to put people down when I'm trying my hardest day in and day out but I can't and won't force her to eat!

I'm new to this so don't know how to reply directly,
She has vegetables as she loves them . I have tried her with mash, roast potatoes , new potatoes, boiled potatoes and she doesn't take to them. She gags and freaks out in a sense.

I think if I'm honest she has anxiety when eating.

I'm looking through the comments now but Thankyou for the kind people that have given me support and advice and hasn't criticised

Also I have tried different meals several times. I work in a nursery so have an understanding of how important it is to be repetitive to children, so I don't just offer her it once . On numerous occasions I have tried certain meals and it's the same thing each time.

@Carlii1702 honestly I understand! My daughter is the same but at one point she would literally only eat toast and crisps. If they won’t eat theres not much other options than to offer what they eat whatever the reasons! Some people just don’t understand, don’t feel guilty or like a bad mom for giving your daughter processed foods etc. my daughter won’t eat any vegetables what so ever or meats. I can just about get her to eat bananas or apples. You’re doing the best you can, getting advice from consultants and that’s all that matters! X

And in all fairness, every health professional I’ve spoken to have told me I’m doing all the right things by offering her what she will eat and just leaving something new or something we’re eating on the side in a small amount, and if she don’t eat it just take it away without fuss as sometimes making a big deal of it can make it worse. They actuallly said they wouldn’t even refer us to a peadriatician unless she started losing weight which tbh did gut me a little because I wanted her to have the help she needed before it gets to that stage! Take no notice of judgemental people on here x

@Carlii1702 does your daughter attend nursery? My daughter starts in January and I spoke to them beforehand about her eating and they’ve kindly said that I’m allowed to pack my daughters own food to bring in as I know she won’t eat anything. I was going to suggest might be something to mention if she attends nursery / won’t eat much there!

Nothing wrong what's she's giving her baby. 🙄

@Louise20231 Thankyou for reassuring me , I'm the same she is a healthy weight so they won't do anything about it! I'm under a pead and consultant for her but the consultants keep leaving . She has had a barium swallow and nothing has flagged up so they are thinking more down the sensory route. Yeah she goes to the nursery I work at and they are so good with letting us pack bits that she can have . Where she has CMPA I find it so difficult because it limits the food I can give let alone sensory issues too

@Carlii1702 sounds so difficult! Luckily my daughter doesn’t have CMPA or any physical health issues (that I know of) however my daughter is 100% sensory and I honestly would go as far to say she potentially has a disorder it gets that bad. Sometimes she doesn’t even eat the foods she likes. It’s all trial and error! To me it sounds like your daughter might have sensory issues and the fact they’ve been able to rule out any physical issues is a plus because it gives them a clearer view too. It’s good that the nursery are supportive too! You’re definitely doing the right things and the fact she’s not losing weight just shows. As long as she eats something that’s the main thing. There’s a lot of parents with pages on tiktok who have kids with sensory issues especially with eating and to be honest they give a lot of good advice and support too in their videos! It also reassures you that you’re not alone! X

My 18 month old is a little similar in that he has cmpa and an egg allergy so limited already and he also dislikes the texture of meat. Nothing we did as he started nursery at 6 months and we have always tried him with lots of foods and textures. It’s just how he is. Doesn’t like lentils either so protein can be difficult. He will eat meat if it’s minced and even more so if I blend it. So I usually make a bolognaise with beef mince and lots of veg and blend it all. Would that work? Otherwise he will eat fish but again say it’s fish fingers, he doesn’t like the coating (best bit in my opinion 😂) so I cook them and take the fish out. could it be the same with your child? If you take the meat out of the coating?

I find mine deals better with meat or fish if it’s super soft and not too much texture. I will chop chicken up super fine too and that works but if it’s even slightly too large he spits it back out.
would fish pate work? Mackerel or sardines blended with dairy free yogurt.
hummus instead of jam sandwiches? Will she eat the beans without the sauce?

Also to say, you have my sympathies. I know how difficult it is to try and make healthy meals but are limited due to allergies. Sometimes I just want to put some cheese in a sandwich and call it a day but every meal has to be thought about and usually a lot more time to make from scratch.
do you make your own jam or is it bought? If you’re worried about sugar at all, making baby friendly chia seed jam is super easy and chia seeds are a good source of protein.