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Parenting

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Original poster

How can DP help with baby?

32 replies

ChamomileHoneyTea · 25/09/2023 07:00

Hi all, 4 month old is EBF and I don’t pump bottles. Beyond bath time (when he gets back from work in time) and the odd nappy on the weekend how can DP help? By the way he can’t settle LO for naps/sleep so I do this, and at night we cosleep.

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Caspianberg · 25/09/2023 08:25

Dh always got up with Ds early at that age. Ds woke around 5.30-6am and I fed, then dh took baby and changed nappy, clothes for day and took him downstairs so I had another hour or two in bed ( after feeding 4-6 times overnight).
In evening dh also always got Ds ready for bed with baby and pjs and read story before I fed, so I could use that 20 mins to get a drink, lol and relax 5mins before long feed.
Dh also made dinner most nights ( as Ds was constantly feeding around 5-8pm)

thelma57 · 25/09/2023 09:03

We have an 11 week old who is EBF and DH has stepped up with most of meal prep and cooking, does the food shop and looks after almost all chores and washing, and he’s back at work.
We struggle with DD sleeping in cot at night so I’m up a huge amount and quite sleep deprived as as soon as he’s home he tried to ensure I rest and nap and am fed!

We also have it where I can settle her faster (often but just giving her the boob) but he will try when he’s around if I’m knackered and only pass her as a last resort or if I ask.
He also does most nappies when he’s around as well as sorting clothes etc.

I agree with PPs, please don’t view it as helping, he has equal responsibility to everything to do with the baby.

WeightoftheWorld · 25/09/2023 10:57

"How can a dad act like a dad" ...

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CurlewKate · 25/09/2023 11:03

There is plenty to do that isn't directly baby related. He can do that. Oh, and all the nappies at the weekend. Not just the "odd" one.

Losttheplotsometimeago · 25/09/2023 11:05

Of course he can settle the baby to sleep.
My DS was a very poor sleeper with reflux, and if my husband hadn't spent many night stalking up and down with him on his chest so I could sleep, I would have lost the plot.

PinkRoses1245 · 25/09/2023 11:07

He is not "helping". He is doing his fair share. Apart from BF, he can do a share of everything surely? He/you needs to persevere with the naps/sleep, even if it's initially hard, it's ridiculous that only you can settle baby.

TinyTeacher · 25/09/2023 15:57

Nappy changes. Bathtime. Burping.

As baby is leaving newborn phase, playtime becomes a larger and larger part of the day. Make sure he is getting involved with this.

It's easy to fall into being the only one that can settle baby. I'm expecting DC4. At 4 months, I was the only one to settle them. It's a good idea to get baby used to the odd pram nap so that others can settle them for you - gives you a lot of freedom! DH however CANNOT get ours to sleep this way - bit of a mystery as they nod off in minute for their nanny/my mum, but DH can walk them for an hour and they don't fall asleep!!!! He hasn't taken over bedtime for any of ours until 2+ years either. But he's the one that takes them out to the park/soft play.

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