Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

having a toddler and a newborn

15 replies

nailpolish · 16/12/2004 13:51

i have 2 dd's, 24 mths apart and dd2 is now 8 wks. sometimes i feel really guilty cos dd1 is always wanting me to play with her, get her juice, watch her do her new dance or whatever, and dd2 is such a good baby she just sits and watches dd1, only crying if she is hungry or tired. i feel i dont spend enough time with dd2, and when dd1 goes to bed i overdo the kisses and cuddles with dd2 just to make up for it!

im sure dd2 isnt feeling neglected or anything, and dd1 is in no way a demanding child, in fact, if she asks for something when im feeding the baby i ask her to wait til its finished and she just says 'ok mummy'.

its just me and guilty feelings

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Momparupapumpum · 16/12/2004 13:55

I always feel the same guilt - but TBH, DS (20 mths) is all the better for the lack of attention. He plays well alone, and then loves it when I can play with him.

He has a great relationship with DD (5 yrs) as they play so well together when DD gets in from school.

Bedtimes are when I spoil him with some quiet time together in his room.

Parenting is one long spell of guilt I'm afraid!

Original poster
nailpolish · 16/12/2004 14:00

also, is it common for toddler to be so possessive of their little brothers or sisters? if a stranger in the street looks in the pram to speak to dd2, dd1 says no - thats my baby sister and is all 'protective'. shes not like that with people she know though.

and if dd1 hurts herself, does something funny or is just back from the shop or whatever, the first person she rushes to to tell is her 8 wk old baby sister! if dd2 is lying on the floor to have her nappy changed, etc, dd1 will lie beside her!

actually as im writing this all down it sounds funny. im glad she loves her baby sister so much. if dd2 cries dd1 shouts 'mummy shes hungry' and tells me to hurry up!

sorry, ill stop rambling now

OP posts:
Momparupapumpum · 16/12/2004 14:02

That ramble was lovely!

It's so great that DD1 loves her sister so much. My DD is the same with DS.

It's GREAT!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Original poster
nailpolish · 16/12/2004 14:07

actually im all teary eyed now. they are asleep on my bed cosied in.

i suppose, as someone said to me, dd2 will not miss out on any affection, she has a sister after all.

thanks momparup, you have made me feel a little better xxx

OP posts:
cazzybabs · 16/12/2004 14:07

you know i feel excatly the same...I feel for dd2 as when anyone so much as looks at her she gives them a big smile - clearly deperate for attention! But dd1 does love her and tells me if shes crying (like i can't hear) or brings dd2 toys which she generally shoves in dd2's face (its the thought right?)...and if i am not dealing with dd1 then I'm reading Mumsnet..poor old dd2 no attention at all.

motherinfestivemood · 16/12/2004 14:07

My dd1's first words every morning for five months were 'where's my baby? I want to touch her head'. It's lovely.

Original poster
nailpolish · 16/12/2004 14:14

cazz and MI - lol!

so im not alone then

OP posts:
MrsBigDrumsADrumming · 16/12/2004 14:14

I'd say... stop feeling guilty. I have a tendency to 'park' ds (3 months) whilst trying to entertain dd (3 years next week). But he definitely doesn't miss out on affection... dd smothers him with it so if he gets a bit less frm me or dh that doesn't matter. I'm just glad I can 'park' ds and he's content, as dd was baby from hell...

FimboCLAUS · 16/12/2004 14:15

My DD takes great care of her baby boy!! Although she told anybody who would listen all about him throwing up all over the place in the car. Sometimes I kiss ds so much he is practically slapping me off!!

morningpaper · 16/12/2004 14:18

It sounds like you're doing a GREAT job! DD1 only had YOU to give her attention/entertainment - DD2 has you AND dd1, so I'm sure is very happy!
Congrats on your lovely baby, btw!

ruinedxmas · 16/12/2004 14:28

these messages make me feel like the possibility of having another might actually be enjoyable - I'm rather dreading the thought.....so nice to read positive stuff about looking after two.

MrsBigDrumsADrumming · 16/12/2004 14:53

Ruinedxmas... looking after 2 is a bit of a shock for the first few weeks but then it's defo worth it... and I'm not exactly the born maternal type iykwim .

Mum2girls · 16/12/2004 15:10

Hi nailpolish my dds have the same age difference as yours and are now 2 and 4. They get so much out of having each other now - each is the most important person in the world to the other (even tho they do squabble from time to time).

DD2 has a bug at the moment - she was so upset at the thought of having to leave her beloved sister at nursery this morning and spend some time with me!!

Original poster
nailpolish · 16/12/2004 15:39

mum2girls - that was a nice post about your girls being so important to one another. i hope mine are too- they are just now anyway!

i think now we made the right decision having them 2 years apart. its lovely for them.

me and my brother are 24 mths apart just like my dd's and we are totally best mates.

i just hope when dd2 is old enough to answer dd1 back they will remain best buddies!

its true what someone said about dd2 not missing on affection cos she has a sister that dd1 never had. never thought of it like that before

OP posts:
Toots · 16/12/2004 17:43

same situation dd2 10 weeks. i just take loads from reading somewhere that babies get so much stimulation from observing the rest of the family ineract. and boy, when i've had a bad night i interact like crazy

New posts on this thread. Refresh page