Reception playfighting... Dos/Don'ts

[DGGR]

My DS is 4 3/4, just started reception.
He's always wrestled and playfought at home with his father and uncle, who are sporty rugby types so it's par for the course. The good thing is, it's meant he's learned boundaries/how far to go quite early on.
He's loves being physical, whether it's playfighting or hugging and holding hands.
He doesn't naturally start a playfight with other children (he'd rather hold hands) but there are 2 kids in his reception class who antagonise each other and end up fighting a lot and my DS LOVES it. He's really drawn to them (they're quite boistrous and dominant personalities). It's actually developing into a fairly nice friendship as I think my DS is a bit of a mediator between the two which stops them bickering between each other so much... But...
When we go to play dates or parties the playfighting can ramp up...
I've already been to A&E once because my DS got pushed so hard he fell back nastily and hit his head on the floor and was concussed, so I don't want to repeat that experience any time soon (naturally).
But there seems to be 2 camps on playfighting... The let them sort it out themselves camp, and the intervene and calm down camp.
Now I'm not against boistrous play, but I do feel like if it's ramping up and getting heated it's my job to calm it down and show them how to behave with each other, and remind them to be kind/gentle. I'd rather they didn't playfight at all but I know imaginary play of hero's and baddies always ends up with some sort of conflict.
I love the other Mum's but I feel like I'm being a helicopter parent because they never seem to pull their kids up, only after the event when someone's already hurt.
I also don't want to parent other people's kids so I end up over parenting mine which isn't really fair and sometimes I can see him getting super frustrated with me because he can see its unfair when I pull him up on something that his friends are just being allowed to do.
Am I being over cautious?
What's the eticate for kids playfighting???

Sorry mum of 3 boys here and it's a no from me. They are too young to understand the boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable so we don't lay hands on each other at all. It just leads to trouble.

I have a 4 year old DS in Reception. I would be unimpressed if any of his classmates were doing this either at school or at parties/social events. It's totally unnecessary and likely to end in tears especially at that age when there can be a huge difference in size/strength between the oldest in the year and the youngest.

They sound absolutely feral. The teacher needs to put some rules in place. Your poor DS getting concussed 😱

My DS is 10 and has never been allowed to engage in playfighting. He gets to work off his energy at jujutsu instead.

@MrTiddlesTheCat all mine have done ju-jitsu too. It's a brilliant way to burn off energy while
Learning some self defence and discipline at the same time.
Eldest dd became a junior coach after she got her black belt.

Yeah, I'd agree that the do and don't of playfighting is just Don't, really!

I wouldn't allow DD aged 6 to do it at all, especially not in public. I'd be very unimpressed if I heard she was doing it at school, even if it was in the playground. I'd expect to get called in for a 'chat' actually.

I hate it when you go to soft play or the park or something like that and there's kids scrapping in across the equipment, either stopping other kids using it at all or of they try they get smacked in the face by accident as they try to get past.

If it's rugby-like tackling he enjoys with his uncle and dad, is there a rugby club he can join to get him doing it in a safer, managed way? It would also maybe teach him about a concept of it being ok at rugby, but not OK at school etc?

Tbh, I'd be having words with dad and uncle too. He's going to get in trouble for it at some point if he carries on - especially if he's on the outskirts of boys that sound like they're behaving quite badly at school, he'll get lumped in with them when they inevitably get told off - and it's not fair for them to make him think it's ok behaviour without context around time and place (and opponent!)

Thanks for the responses so far. This is exactly how I feel. For some reason the parents in our group either seem to never be looking when the kids fight, or just leave it to someone else (usually me) to step in.
Me an DH just don't get it. I actually dread the birthday parties because I'm a bag of nerves that someone's going to get hurt or I'm going to annoy other parents stepping in.
I'm a no to playfighting myself but for some reason a lot of the parents I've spoken to seem to expect it, so it just made me feel like an anxious helicopter parent. I'm glad I posted. I'll be more confident putting my foot down now.
We were thinking of ju jitsu or judo for him actually.

Play fighting doesn't exist in our house. Violence of any kind is a strong no.
I've intervened at soft play when other parents turn a blind eye, I don't care how I'm perceived.
I'm happy to use my work voice and remind any child that it's not ok to hurt someone, or do something that might hurt someone and I'm happy to remove my child from a situation like that. I do not believe in boys will be boys. It's a damaging message to buy into

My sons just started reception aswell.
I would hate for him to be involved in this and tbh I would hate to see it.
Keep your child right.