11 mo old misses dad

[Konaeix]

Hello all. First time poster. I'm hoping for some advice. I have an 11 month old boy, and his dad is currently out of town. First few days he was gone, baby was fine. After about a week or so, he seems to have noticed his absence and has gotten very cranky and just gets worse as time goes on. Dad will not be home for a couple more weeks, but baby has gotten to the point where he wants me to hold him ALL the time. He will tolerate his aunties holding him for a short period but begins fussing and reaching for me. Not only that, he INSISTS I stand while holding him and does not tolerate whatsoever me sitting down. I have a baby Bjorn I will put him in but he much prefers I just hold him and kicks and fusses while in it. Normally he is very active, wanting to crawl around, play with his toys, practice walking, play with his cousins, etc. He will play for maybe a max of 30 mins at a time. He also has started waking up multiple times throughout the night, nearly inconsolable, which is abnormal for him. I feel terrible and know he doesn't understand where dad is and misses him. My back is absolutely killing me and I am wondering if I will just have to wait for dad to be home to get some relief. Any advice?

It sounds like he’s going through some separation anxiety. He doesn’t understand where his dad has gone and now he will be all worried you’re going to leave him so he wants to be as close to you as he possibly can be.
My little one went through the same thing, it was exhausting and as guilty as I felt, I needed a break from her. If I put her down and went to the toilet she’d scream the house down and make herself sick.
Not going to lie, it took a couple of months to work through this. I spoke to my health visitor because I was physically and emotionally drained. Best advice they gave me was to keep putting her down to play and if I left the room then to say bye and that I’ll be back. I know she didn’t fully understand me but overtime she got used to me going out the room and coming back.
I also started leaving her with my parents for short bursts each day. They were fully on board and prepared for her crying for but overtime she got a lot better.

She’s now gone past the stage and life is a lot easier!

I'm glad you said it because I feel extremely guilty but I am nearly at my wits ends. I am so, so tired and drained. It is a miracle at this point that I am even still functioning. If I even walk out of his sight he is screaming. Hands down 100% for single mothers everywhere.
I will definitely try your advice, but I'm afraid he won't get much time adjusting to that before dad is home. Thank you!

I said the exact same thing, I’m so impressed with them because I struggle without my dh.

Hopefully he will adjust soon but it is so draining so please try not to feel guilty. It’s okay to need a break and it really does help because you can easily get frustrated with it all. Is anyone able to take him for a little while for you?

His aunties love him and are super helpful but lately have gave up and usually bring him back to me (we live together) after a certain point of him crying. I can't say I blame them lol. But I am glad to share that I have been working with him today, and rather than hold him all day, we have sat down together and been able to play for a good majority of the day. He definitely has fussed a lot, grabbed on my shirt, and tried to crawl in my arms a ton, but I've just been repeating to him "mama is right here" and redirect him to playtime which has worked better than I anticipated.
Thank you for your comments. The guilt was killing me but reading what you said helped a lot! I appreciate you taking the time to comment.