Changing social worker

[Colourfulandproud]

Hi,

social services have become involved after my children made a disclosure to school about their dad. In having a conversation about stopping contact with dad, the social worker said to stop contact. When I asked her a few days later to back this up in writing so I could apply to court, she went away to speak to her manager and changed completely, told me she didn’t say that and they can’t comment on contact arrangements. I’m considering asking to swap SW as I don’t feel as though I can trust them after they lied to me. But I’m concerned if I switch and the SWs talk, that they’re maybe a feeling from the new SW of a lack of trust towards me. I’m a DV survivor and my ex is massively manipulative, he runs circles around people till he gets what he wants so I need to trust that the person I’m working with. I’ve been let down by loads of different services and my ISVA is advocating for me, she told me I can switch if I’m not happy. The ISVA also said the SW wasn’t clear with her and kept changing advice. I trust my ISVA, colleagues have worked with her and said she’s the best, but I’m not sure what’s best to do about the SW

Ask to switch, they probably will talk. I had the same thing happen. She said supervised contact only then completely denied it and he got contact at family court.
Ill record all sessions if i ever have a social worker again.
Im sorry this happened. Its mans world and even with the years of evidence of abuse and letters from multiple agencies the court and social services disregarded the risk, following the theory that contact with dad is more important and no contact is more damaging than any kind of abuse (actual words of a magistrate).
Get the contact order, it will most likely go in his favour but make it clear to everyone that any hint of risk and you will be bringing it back to court/stopping contact. I did both.
Its horrible being forced to send your kids there but the court order isnt as powerful as dad may think.
The irony is, if you breach the court order you face sanctions, however if the kids are abused in dads care cos you followed the court order social services will come down on you like a tonne of bricks for not keeping the kids safe.
Im sorry i cant offer a more positive experience. You keep doing whats best for your kids. I am and ill deal with any consequences because I am putting their needs first.
Good luck lovely xxx

You can't always switch social worker, they are understaffed so you may be told you need to work with the one allocated to you

Thank you, it’s so hard to judge what’s right! I’ve never gone after a child arrangement order as my solicitor has told me that it will depend on the judge and the cafcass officer but I’m likely to come back with a 50/50 split still. I really can’t afford court at the moment but I’m hoping to early next year. I’ve said I won’t meet her unless my ISVA is present and I’m torn because she seemed so lovely to begin with and seemed like she was a bit on my side

That’s a good point, if I do attempt it I’ll lower my expectations to it actually working

I don't know if you've heard of Rights of Women? They give free legal advice

Our local women's centre has solicitors come on to give free legal advise. It sounds like she said something her manager told her she can't say that so she's back tracked to get herself off the hook. If you feel you get on well with her otherwise I'd continue but record conversations going forward and if it happens again go to her line manager

Has he asked for 50/50.
I dont think they will automatically go for this otherwise.
Represent yourself with the support from idva and research as much as you can. I had a solicitor and a barrister and they were useless. I ended up representing myself.
Cafcass were ok with me, i didnt agree with everything they did and said but i do feel they were fair and had the best interests of the children at heart.
Stop relying on what other people are saying and doing and focus on your truth, your evidence and why you need to keep the children safe. Offer a solution of how this can be done and be respectful in court. He wont be im guessing.
Keep to fact in your statements and you can have someone from support through court sit with you and have a screen. You can do it and you must. You cant live like this.
In my experience solictors allow the abuse of the other party by dragging out court/failing to do as instructed as it earns them more money. Get them out the picture, do it yourself and you will be surprised how your belief in whats right for your children will help you do what you never thought you could.

Would you meet again with idva present as a way to move forward.