Huge very public Tantrum

[EmbarassedAndSad]

I know this is age appropriate. She’s 24 months. But she got it in her head that when we left for the park that we were going to get treats. We don’t do treats that often. Once every two weeks tops. Before we left i offered a quick snack. She wasn’t interested.

When we were going to the park she kept trying to walk to the nearby coffee shop. I redirected her gently. We got to the park. Sure played for 20 minutes and then casually started walking to the coffee shop again saying “bits. bits.” we give her donuts and call them bits because we tear it to bits for her. I told her no we aren’t getting bits and tried yet again to gently pull her back to the play ground but she had it in her head that she was going to get bits and tried to run away.

After lots of back and forth I finally came to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to play at the park and started to walk her home. But she decided she wasn’t going to go quietly. Dead weighted me. So I picked her up on my hip.

And then the very public and very loud kicking and screaming starts. The entire neighbourhood gets an earful as I do the walk of shame with her over my shoulder screaming and crying.

It might sound dramatic but I don’t know how to face going outside again. I feel like a failure as a mother. I feel humiliated.

We've all been there. I remember both mine having massive tantrums at that age but they turned out fine in the end!
Anyone with any sense would just be sympathetic. If anyone did judge their opinion wouldn't be worth bothering about

No matter how good a parent you are, at some point you will have to drag a screaming demon child away from a public place.

Read that on social media a little while ago and couldn't agree more.

Have you seen the video of one of the Princes being a complete pain for Kate as she tries to calmly talk him down, all while being filmed...whenever my daughter is being a pain I just think of her in that moment and thank god I'm not being filmed and criticised by the world.

Completely normal and the looks were probably sympathetic because the majority of parents have had to do the exact same thing.
When my son was that age he got a splinter in his finger.. We were on a packed beach. At the top of his lungs.. HELP ME SHE HURTS ME SOMEBODY HELLLLLLLP ME!!
Absolute Twat. He's 21 now and thinks it's hysterical.

Have you ever looked at a woman with a tantrumming toddler and judged her as a failure as a mother? Bet you haven't. No one would think it of you, either.

Of* a

@yeveamgirl

your comment made me laugh. That is very true! 😂
Poor Kate. I definitely wouldn’t want to be parenting in front of the entire world. That is a rough road for sure.

Just as the sun rises and sets, babies cry and toddlers have tantrums, no reflection on the parents. Most people are sympathetic as we've all been there.
I work in a busy store, this is a very common occurrence and l like to say to the parent your doing a brilliant job because l know how l felt at times like that.

welcome to the terrible twos. Trust me no one was judging you. totally normal toddler behaviour bless her.

Oh gosh OP please don't worry. I used to feel like you when DD (now 5) had big public tantrums. Now, with DD2 (age 2.5), I just pick her up, say "ah the joys of toddlers!" and remove her from the scene! I assure you, most people would be sympathetic, and those who aren't have clearly had angelic toddlers, or forgotten what it's like!

@Its5656 that story made me chuckle! MiL delights in telling me that DH (now early 40s) had a tantrum in a supermarket as a young child, during which he shouted "She's kidnapping meeeeee!" MiL still remembers it as clear as day all these years later. 😂 OP, I can assure you he turned out completely normal haha!

Same. I don’t think there is a mother anywhere who hasn’t been through this. In fact I remember being that tantrumming 24 month old !
I always feel a pang of sympathy and solidarity when I see a frazzled parent with a toddler having a tantrum.

You didn't give in and you did the over the shoulder carry to get her home.
Anyone watching probably wanted to give you a round of applause.
You did good 🙂

Anyone with kids will have had the same at some point, really don't beat yourself up.

If I see a mum (or dad) struggling in public I always make a point of smiling and telling them it's fine and it happens to us all - and if my teenage DC are in tow - I tell the they were much worse when they were young.

Solidarity. My dd5 still tantrums in public now. You did the right thing and instilled a boundary by not giving her the treat and you stuck to it. Tantrums are never nice, especially in public they make you feel like the worst parent in the world. You handled it well op. Xx

I don’t have children but I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid if I was nearby. Your daughter is two, that’s normal for toddlers.

It would actually be hysterical if toddlers could use the AIBU thread.

There wasn't a puddle outside the shop today.. Went ape shit AIBU
Or
My mums cat was in the kitchen minding its own business.. screamed hysterically for 2 hours AIBU.

You get my point 😂

Sympathies Op, I have an almost 3 year old who is very stubborn 🤣 multiple times I've walked away from somewhere or out of soft play with him under my arm like a rugby ball🤣

DD had one major public tantrum when she was about 2 and I still remember it. It was traumatic and all because she wanted to go back home on our very short walk to the post box (we were practically there) and get a specific jacket. It went on for what felt like ages and I didn't know what to do so just kept going and tried to distract her. Didn't work but at least I looked like I was doing something!

DS had loads of public tantrums and after the first couple they didn't even bother me anymore (as long as he wasn't hurting himself or anyone, or annoying anyone too much). He was more the pick him up and tuck him under the arm sort, until he started getting too heavy!

I know exactly how you feel, one of the worst days of my life involved a humongous tantrum in public.

Anyone with kids has probably been there, if I saw you I’d just think “oh god, I remember those days but she looks like she’s handling it better than I did”. I don’t think I know a single parent with a toddler that hasn’t had to carry their child out of a place kicking and screaming. It always feels like it’s just you this it is happening to but it’s really not.

This!

It sucks in the short term but makes a big difference in the long term!

You did fab!

This is my truth!

Wait till your little darling pulls a tanty like that...on a BUS where NO ONE can escape. Then you'll know all about it. Lol!

Just par for the course OP. Stop worrying about what other people think so much. xx

Things I remember doing that caused huge tantrums are:
Take dd1 to a park with no loo for 2 hours then come home and want to go straight indoors to use the loo (when heavily pregnant) rather than watch her play out the front (on a busy road)
Not go and see horses before picking dd1 up from school. (Dd2) One of the teachers said "what's wrong with her?" I said "She needs a nap." The teacher said "I need a nap too." They had ofsted in at the time.
Want to leave the park after 2 hours (dd1)
I remember dd1's future A level maths teacher's son having a massive tantrum at a toddler group I was at with dd2.

Nobody will have been judging you at all. And I can see 'bits' catching on as a phrase!

It feels absolutely awful in the moment but any decent person who witnessed this will be on your side rather than any judgment. If more parents stuck to their guns and scooped up the tantrumming child and left in a situation like this, it would be a very good thing.